The Worst Things in Life Come Free to us|L.R.H

36- keep your head up princess.

*The Monday after Luke and Morgan... Luke Pov*

I saw her today, we made eye contact. Her eyes burnt with betrayal. I wanted the floor to swallow me up.

I just want her to know the truth; that I love her and I would never, ever do that to her.

The incident was Tuesday last week, the last time I saw her was Friday when she built up the guts to come in; I'm proud of her for doing so.

She spent the weekend alone, even without Ellie, who had kept her going. Completely alone; I'm just praying she didn't do anything stupid.

I spent the entire weekend with Michael- living with him and all.

We all went to Panda Express Saturday.

We mainly discussed Tessa; well Ellie did, and it made me feel sick, put me off my food which Michael then happily stole.

Ellie's worried about Tess. Like really worried.

She said she wasn't eating, she said she wasn't sleeping, and she kept on being sick.

She reckons she took more pills than necessary. I think so too.

While discussing we came across the thought maybe she hasn't eaten over the whole weekend.

And it looks like we were right.

As ash, cal, Michael, Ellie, Clary, Charlie and I sit out in the car park, we spot her, walking in.

Despite her being afraid of vests showing her boniness, she's never seemed to be afraid of skinny jeans.

But I wish she was.

We all knew she was unhealthily thin- though her body wasn't ugly, oddly, though she was still afraid to show it- but she had actually managed to put on weight, which we were all happy about, but she'd managed to loose that and even more.

She's skinnier than before, her legs skin and bone, her upper half conserved by my red flannel shirt, though it does show her petite shape, and stick to her hips.

But as she passes us, worst of all is her face.

Like we said, her facial features had always been prominent, but this isn't right. Her cheekbones are pointy, her cheeks hollow, her jaw line is sharp and noticeable, and her eye are dark, so dark and it look like she hasn't slept in days.

I can't tell if I want to be sick, If I want to pass out, If I want to cry or if I want to take her into my arms and beg her to love me again.

We all stare at her silently as she walks past, I can see her stiff posture and her shaking fingers and I want to take her hands in mine and sooth her.

When she's finally past, everyone starts to talk.

But not me. I can't push the image out of my mind and I feel my breath hitching in my throat.

My hands begin to shake and I feel uneasy.

Had she not eaten all weekend? Or worse, since Thursday, because that was when she was finally left alone again.

How could I have been so stupid? I know deep down this was ripping her apart, I knew deep down she was suffering quietly and most importantly; that she was going to do something.

And she did, and I can't seem to handle it.

She was skinnier than she ever had been, even before we were friends and the very beginning of the year.

I must begin to walk away because ashton comes after me, he touches my shoulder and I flinch.

Though we made up after he hit me, almost dislocating me jaw, I still flinch and I can see it hurts him every time.