The Worst Things in Life Come Free to us|L.R.H

37- a letter in reply.

*LUKE POV*

"Hey, dude, what's this?" Ashton asks, I divert my gaze from trying to find my maths book to see what he's talking about.

It's a piece of paper, folded delicately. He picks it up and goes to unfold it, but then I get an idea of what it might be, and I take it out of his hands quickly.

As I continue to unfold it, ashton sending me a look, I see I was right.

It's a note from Tessa, I guess in reply to mine, and it's written in her delicate, beautiful handwriting.

Luke,

Where do I begin?... how do I even reply?

I don't know what you expect me to say. I really don't.

I know you're reading this in school, well... probably, but this is why I'll keep it short.

Well, I say this, but it's probably going to turn out like an SA, but I guess I'll wait and see.

Like Morgan says, you probably don't want to hear from some skinny, quiet, ugly freak anyways.

Could she be anymore wrong?

So here, this is what I have to say.

I don't know. There you go, I don't know, and I really don't know what to believe, what I can believe, I think... I think deep down I know. I know you didn't kiss her. And I don't even think I'm angry at you. I know it seems like the most stupid thing to say, because I obviously seem like I am.

It's just... I don't think anybody has any idea how much that hurt.

That hurt like hell, it hurt like crazy, because I love you, I do love you Luke. And I know I'm an idiot and I wish I wasn't this way, I wish I was like I was before I met you. Yes, you, you make me this way, before you I was so shutout, and like you said it may still seem this way, but really, you've opened me up more than anyone else has.

It's incredible really, what you've done for me. You conquered the walls I built around myself and made me... love.

Because I love you so, so, so much Luke, you'll never know and I hope when we make up one day, when I'm finally back in your arms, the only place I feel safe, that you'll see that.

You saved my life, and I'd never be able to repay you for that, you know?

And I'm torn, because I part of me wants you, wants you more than anything in the world. A part of me wants your lips all over my body, your hands in my hair and for you to be beside me when I wake up.

But then there's this other part of me, telling me you don't deserve someone like me. You deserve someone beautiful, interesting, and... normal I guess, because what you don't see is that I will never be normal. I won't be able to eat at restaurants. I won't be able to do crazy things, and some days, I wont even be able to come out the house.

Maybe you do see this, and maybe that's why I'm so confused you still haven't run away and left I like everyone else.

Anyways, I'll stop there, and if you've even read this far, I'm sorry for being the way I am, okay, but I love you Luke, and you're my prince, it's cheesy, but I believe it.

From Tessa.

Ps. Thanks for the gifts, it was really sweet, I cried. So I hope you enjoy yours, it's not much, but it's not nothing.

When I stop reading I realize I'm crying. I'm an absolute mess.

Ashton is giving me a cautious look but isn't pushing me ot explain about it all, and so I don't.

For a moment I'm confused, what gift? But then I realize I'm actually holding it.

Underneath the stunningly written note is a cd.

Home made, you can tell, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

'I MISS YOU- BLINK-182'

Is scribbled across the front of the CD and I can't but help but smile through the tears.

I put the CD in my bag along with the note after I fold it up again, and smile and swallow back the harsh lump in my throat.

I fucking love that girl, I tell you. More than anything really, and I don't even now, after reading that, how I even agreed to leave her, and more importantly how I've coped without her.

"Hey, you alright Bro?" ashton touches my shoulder and I don't even flinch, he smiles as he notices and I just nod, a small smile on my lips.

For the first time in a while, things are beginning to look up, and it's great.

"Good," ashton says, and with that, we begin to walk to class, and I have laughter bubbling in my chest and I stupid smile on my face and I know things are going to be okay.

*

I'm sorry that was short! but hey, double update, hehe:) and guys, the story has hit 600 reads!! that's crazy!! i know that's absolutely nothing compared to some other peoples, but that means A LOT to me, and anyone that's made it this far and is still reading, thankyou, it really means a lot. 

and when you guys comment telling me that you liked the chapter it honestly makes me so so happy:] 

anyways, this was the last crappy filler chapter because next chapters gunna be GOOODDDD.

*she says* aha! 

anyways, ttyl beautiful!Xx