Surviving in Harmony

Chapter Sixty-Two | Montrose Scotland, January 1st 2021

Chapter Sixty-Two

Montrose Scotland, January 1st 2021

Something was churning inside Ella Bowen. She liked to think it was her nerves, the wishful hope for bravery – really, it was her breakfast.

"Stupid...fetus." She grumbled, walking the few short blocks from her flat to Jonathan's. Though she had not realized at the time, the jumble of cells in her uterus had been the cause of her nausea for the past five days.

There was a frost on the ground and windows as she rapped her knuckles on the door, taking a deep breath. Jonathan appeared, smiling. "Hey," he leaned down to kiss her. "Feeling better?"

"Um, not really." Ella wrung her hands nervously. "Listen, I –"

"Come inside, I just put the kettle on." He turned around, leaving her at the landing to close the door.

Following him up the stairs, Ella watched him move around the airy flat. It was nicer than hers, and she saw at least five things that belonged to her lying around. Jonathan chattered away about the team, how nice it was to have gone to New Years the night before. As he talked, Ella's stomach dropped – this time with dread. How could she burst this bubble of happiness? She loved Jonathan, with his kind eyes, gentle hands and fierce loyalty. He could have been a Gryffindor; he was so set on setting straight any reporter who wrote a bad word about her.

"You okay?" he had stopped talking and was leaning over the island, having taken her hand. "Your fingers are freezing, woah."

"John, I...I'm not."

He frowned, moving around the counter so he stood by her stool. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to say this," tears threatened, and Ella dug her nails into her palm.

"You can tell me, Elle – really."

Looking into those kind eyes, Ella knew she could. "I'm pregnant." She whispered, not able to look him in the eye.

Jonathan sat heavily onto the other bar stool, silent. Ella couldn't look up, the tears winning and spilling over. "Please, John – say something."

"I..." he dropped her hands. "I can't."

"What?" Head jerking up, Ella felt as if the floor had disappeared beneath her.

Jonathan got up, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ella, I'm – I'm twenty-two! My career is barely starting, and – and we can't have a baby!"

Jumping up, Ella felt like vomiting and screaming at the same time. "You think I want this?" her voice came out hoarse. "I just started my career, too, John."

"I don't know, Elle. We were so careful." He hung his head. "I don't know if I can deal with this."

Swallowing her pride and nausea, Ella nodded. "Well, I guess I'll just – uh – go then." Her voice came out very, very small. "Bye." Ella ran out, wiping tears furiously as she ran. Somehow, she felt even worse than before.

Sonia found Ella curled up in bed, still wearing mascara from the night before (smudged all around her eyes) and fully dressed.

"Oh, Ella..." she knelt down, brushing her hair back. "I got here as quick as I could."

"Auntie." Ella sobbed, and Sonia took her in a hug.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Sonia was not entirely sure why Ella had called her and not Amara.

"I – I –" she pulled the Muggle pregnancy test from her purse, hiccupping.