Surviving in Harmony

Chapter Thirty-Eight | Ivy House, December 2013

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Ivy House, December 2013

 

            Christmas was very close when Sonia got sick. She lay in the bed she shared with Charlie, tossing and turning between the sheets. She was so cold, no number of blankets could warm her.

Max had come in, dark eyes kind. She knew he found it hard to be home these days, especially that past summer. After she lost the baby Sonia had changed, become withdrawn; she resembled her restless sixteen-year-old self more and more. Her job at the paper bored her, the articles were good but did not interest her. She had no desire to write, to be creative. Her mind had become her prison.  "Mamma, do you need anything?"

"No honey, I'm fine." She rasped, curling further into herself.

A beat of silence passed. "Okay."

It was hours later, fever raging, when Sonia glanced at the window to see it was snowing. It had been almost exactly a year since she lost her daughter.

"It's not your fault."

Sonia sat up in bed with great effort, looking over to the corner; sitting in the rocking chair, made of light, was Hazel.

"You're not real." She choked.

Hazel shrugged. "Maybe. Does it matter?"

"Mamma, I lost her."

"I know honey." She said softly, getting up from the chair. Whenever Sonia saw her mother she wore long dresses, like the ones she liked during the summer when it was hot. They hung off her frame, tightened at the waist by a piece of ribbon. Hazel had never tried to look beautiful, and Sonia had envied her mother for that.

"It must have been my fault – whose else could it be?"

"It just happens sometimes." Hazel sat on the bed and Sonia lay back down, staring at the daydream. Her mother was not really in the room, the words were made up. "A mistake in the DNA, a faulty chromosome. We studied biology, remember?"

"That was so long ago." Sonia remembered back to the days of Hazel teaching the twins in the room called 'the classroom'. Two desks, a blackboard, so many books.

Hazel smiled, brushing a sunshine curl behind her ear. "You were so interested in everything back then, so much life – motivation."

"I lost all of it with Nora." Sonia was shivering.

"You need to move past it, Sonia." Hazel told her. "Pay some attention to Max."

"Max?" Sonia had forgotten about her son in the moments Hazel had appeared.

"He needs your help."

"Why?" Sonia struggled to sit up, but she was too weak. "Is he okay?"

Hazel merely smiled and reached out, barely caressing Sonia's cheek. "Look out for him, fifteen is  a tough time. You should know."

"Mamma?" Max's voice came from outside and the door swung open. "Who're you talking to?"

Sonia stared at Hazel's form was it faded. She remembered a long time ago a similar situation between herself and Hazel; she'd caught her talking to nothing. Sonia must have been right, they were both mad.

"No one." She whispered. "Just...no one."

Max gave her a funny look. "Okay...I brought you some water."

Sonia fell asleep again to the silence of snow, her son sitting by her side.

            The New Year was fast approaching and Sonia was dreading it. She had gotten better and celebrated Christmas with Andrew, Charlie, Amara, Max, Winston and all the Bowen kids.