Surviving in Harmony

Chapter Forty-Five | Hester House, December 2015

Chapter Forty-Five

Hester House, December 2015

In the east wing of Hester House was Teddy's room. He had three rooms in his life; one at his grandmothers, one at Harry's, and one at Andrew's; his Godfathers wanted him to feel at home wherever he was. He was asked often if he found it tiring moving around so much, but he liked it; he got to see all his family frequently, and when he stayed at Hester House he was right by Max, too. In the past few years he'd stayed mainly at Harry and Andrew's as Andromeda Tonks had gotten older and had a hard time looking after a rambunctious boy. Teddy didn't mind, he liked being surrounded by his honorary siblings.

Today however Hester House was empty, as Amara had taken the four Bowen kids to their Muggle Grandparents house in London. Today was a special day. Teddy was going to tell his godfathers that he was gay - well, bisexual. Sort of. He wasn't quite sure.

Staring in the mirror, Teddy changed his hair from a light brown, to an ash blonde, to black - whom did he mirror while doing this? Harry, Andrew - his father?

"You can do this." He said, hair shifting to a light brown, his eyes the colour of a blueberry; his father shone from his face. "They love you, they won't care. You can do this." He scowled, and then smiled. Scowled again. "This is the first step towards being free. If you do it maybe Max will, too."

Ten months since he had admitted to Mitzie that he loved Max. Since then June had become a regular in their little group, since she knew that Max was gay. When it was just the four of them Teddy and Max were free to sit close, to discreetly hold hands under the table at the library. The girls didn't care either way, there was no pressure to come out or be too forward.

Maybe if Teddy came out to Harry and Andrew, Max would see that it was okay. Whenever they spoke about it, he always said he wasn't ready. "I don't want to get us into trouble." He would say, "Besides, this is good. No one suspects anything."

But Teddy loved Max so much it hurt, and he wanted to be able to live his life without lying. He hated secrecy.

"Ted, lunch!" Andrew called from downstairs.

Eyes still on his reflection, Teddy leaned heavily against the dresser in his room, knuckles gripping the wood so hard they turned white. "Coming." He said weakly. He glanced at the photo by his bedside; Remus and Tonks on a sunny day, together and laughing. Teddy went downstairs.

~*~*~*~

Teddy sat across from his godfather's, bowl of soup and bread untouched. Harry and Andrew were talking about their friend Luna, who had just become a mother of twin boys.

"And she's taking them to Africa in six months!" Harry laughed. "She and Rolf are writing a book on something."

Andrew shook his head, amazed. "Those kids will be extraordinary."

Teddy wiped his hands on his pants and gulped. "Uh, guys?"

"Yeah?" Harry was whipping down his bowl with bread.

"I'm -" he stared at them, patiently waiting for what he had to say. "Um, I'm not feeling well. Can I go upstairs?"

Andrew's brows furled worriedly. "Of course, do you want some tea?"

Standing hastily, Teddy shook his head. "I'm okay."

Harry looked concerned. "Is there something else, Ted?"

Backing out of the room, Teddy started to shake. "No, nothing - just ill."

With that he rushed up the kitchen stairs to the second floor and got under his covers, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He flipped the photo of his parents around so he couldn't see their smiling faces.