Anesthesia

[22]

Frances: "Gardening again?"

Buzz: "..."

Frances: "You know, you used to do that when you were little. Mom gave us the seeds and then you, me and Eddie-"

Buzz: "Yes, I know. I guess I did a lot of things when I was little. Even let Edward beat the shit outta me."

Frances: "..."

Buzz: "What's the matter, Franny? Has the ugly truth sealed your lips? Remembering how he and his bulky friends used to beat the shit outta me just because I was ugly?"

Frances: "Buzz, he was just playing with you-"

Buzz: "Exactly."

Frances: "..."

pause

Frances: "So, I could see that something's bothering you."

Buzz: "Glad to know that you can see."

Frances: "You wanna tell me?"

Buzz: "No."

Frances: "Oh, come on, Buzzie! We don't hide things from each other."

Buzz: "You're the one to talk?"

Frances: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Buzz: "It means that it's ironical that a person who is keeping secrets is saying not to hide secrets from each other."

Frances: "Buzz, I tell everything to you guys."

Buzz: "Really?" pause "Why aren't you married yet?"

Frances: "... I, uh, already told you. I can't leave you guys. Besides, I never found the right guy."

Buzz: "Why aren't you married yet?"

Frances: "Buzz..."

Buzz: "Franny? Why aren't you married yet?"

pause

Frances: "..."

Buzz: (Eyes boring into hers)

Frances: "..."

Frances: "Buzz, I-"

Another person: (Belches)

Buzz: "What the-"

Frances: "What was that?- Dad?! Oh my God!"

Dad: "I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD! HALLELUJAH!"

Buzz: "GET HIM OUTTA HERE!"

Frances: "Dad, come on. D-DAD! Come inside. You're drunk!"

Dad: "Hm-hm-hm 'hiccup'. Excellent observation, my dear. TEN ON TEN!"

Frances: "Dad, come on. We have to get you inside."

Dad: "NO! I WANNA STAY! I WANNA LIVE!"

Frances: "Dad-"

Dad: "BARTHOLOMEW! WHERE'S MY SON! WHERE'S MY LITTLE FIGGY PUDDING?!"

Buzz: "Oh no."

Dad: "THERE HE IS. MY LITTLE STAR! MY SON! I WAS BEGINNING TO WORRY ABOUT YOU!"

Buzz: "Like hell you were." pause "Franny, please get him off of me."

Frances: "Dad come on-"

Dad: "NO! YOU GO! I WILL STAY WITH MY SON HERE!"

Buzz: "..."

Dad: "Now, listen to me, my son. Your mother and I were very proud of you, you hear me? So, so proud."

Buzz: "Why is that?"

Dad: "We were really happy that we got a son like you. We always had a young, special son. And so, we named you something special."

Buzz: (mutters) "I wouldn't say that."

Dad: "And now, I'm really worried about you, my son. I am so worried. I don't know what to do when you will be gone. But I want you to know that you always held a very special place in my heart. And I always loved you. And I don't want you to leave."

Buzz: "..."

Dad: "You were always my best son and I want to do something for you. I always wanted to do something for you which will help you a lot."

Buzz: "...Well, maybe you should have thought about that BEFORE OFFING YOURSELF AFTER MOM'S DEATH! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Dad: "..."

Frances: "..."

Buzz: "Franny, get him outta here."