Anesthesia

[12]

When he opened his eyes, sharp, blinding light pierced through his vision before they even came into focus. His skin shivered into the coldness present in the room, a stinking essence of medicines and herbs hit his nostrils immediately and his tongue felt as if sawdust was sprinkled on them.

Soon, when his vision came to focus, he saw Franny sitting by his bedside, peering down at the medicines in her palms. Her cheeks were blotched with mascara and her hands were trembling even though they were moving fast.

Before he could remember a thing in his mind, his sister began to speak without even looking up.

"You were skipping your meds due to which you fainted during your class." She spoke in a monotone, one of the deadly voices he knew. "It was a false alarm and the only false alarm which have given me relief and anxiousness at the same time."

Buzz could do nothing but blink, either because he was confused or because he didn't want the multiple emotions inside him spill through his eyes in the form of tears.

"The doctors will schedule a surgery within a couple of weeks to see if the tumor in your brain could be removed and they would appreciate if you tried to stay healthy, maintain your diet, busy yourself in heartwarming activities and take your medicines regularly. In other words, stop acting like an idiot."

At that moment, he wanted to shout out loud that he was going to die. The throbbing pain in his head was a symptom of dying. He was going to die. But he found his lips shut tight and his fists clenched shut. Not a single word escaped his lips. He was just focusing on his deep breaths and trying to ignore the feeling as if his heart was about to drop down on his knees.

Franny seemed to study his reaction and her face tensed. "Buzz, you're not sick so you better stop pretending to be sick. You don't have a good enough reason to stay alive, so you might as well not give us a reason to commit suicide." And all he could think that this us was fictional and looked away.

None of them were aware of Agnes standing outside the ICU, every word said by Franny pushing her down into a deep, endless, ocean of guilt.