By My Side(Book 2 to The Lynchs)

Chapter 53

Jasmine P.O.V

I sat on the bed next to Ross cuddling close to him and thoughts were filling my mind more then ever. I knew he experience being young and reckless since he was always doing stuff like pulling pranks, have the occasional drink and when he's on tour he has the chance of going out to clubs. He is living his young life while mine was taken from me.

I staid in at night studying for college, which I didnt even attend. I filled out applications, I studied for SAT's right after my break year but then he proposed and college was just something there. So I don't even have education more then high school.

Even if this was bothering me and eating me alive I couldn't just let it enter my life. But there was no problem with my life right now, I married my best friend, I have amazing kids, and I live in a amazing house, why was I asking for more even when I had it all?

"Jasmine you okay?" He asks softly in groggy voice since he was extremely tired from both taking of the kids to taking care of Riker.

I look up at him and shook my head "I want to be but I can't" I said as I felt his arms wrap around me tight pulling me close to his warm embrace.

He pecks my forehead and runs his fingers through my hair "What's the matter?" He asks in a gentle voice.

I sigh and rest my chin on his chest "Don't you ever think we rushed into this all too quick?" I ask biting my lip.

He looks at me with a confuse expression "I think we are okay with what we had. We have amazing kids, we are married and are close to being a year soon. We live in amazing house and other then that I feel like we are perfectly fine" he says with a shrug.

"I know that Ross but to the world we are still kids. We should be out partying having fun, building wild memories that we can tell our kids in the future. We shouldn't be going to bed at ten since the ids are sleeping" I said with an eye roll.

He looks at the clock and frowns "I think there is something you aren't telling me. Its not just us doing this all too quickly is it?" he sighs as he puts his attention to me.

I shook my head "No its just that once you go on tour you will still be living those wild times, you are in college getting a degree. You didn't have to carry four babies cause Ross I didn't have those wild times. I only had alcohol once and that was at our wedding" I said raising my voice slightly.

"Look I'm sorry if you cant live a wild life but I cant do many things either. Before going off to tour I only had to worry about you, I could Skype you at any moment, I could call you but now I have to worry about if you got enough rest, on how the kids are going to be okay. How Jace is doing, there are going to be things I have to worry about" he says looking at me "We both have worries"

I look down and bite my lip "Ross I gave up everything though. The time you propose to me I was going to go to college but I put it away to have a wedding with you. I was going to do things I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to support the kids in my way and just live on your money" I said feeling my voice begin to burn.

Ross rolls his eyes as he pulls out the laptop "If you want to be a lawyer and go to college well here you, just sign up and I will pay for it all and then if you want you can pay me back" he says with a shrug.

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair "I'm not using your money for college Ross, I will use my own and that's it. But please just take a look though it with my eyes" I said with a frown. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom taking a seat on the tub.

Why did I even bring this up? Why can't I just keep my mouth shut and not always fight back, I should just be happy in my life. I look at the tub and start to let the water to run feeling it to be hot and turn on the screen so it could play music.

I grab a bath bomb and take off my night gown, before getting in the hot bubble bath, I already showered before going to bed but a bath would always calm me down so right now is the perfect time for one. Then I see the bathroom door open letting in Ross.

"Babe you okay?" He asks softly as he walks in slowly as if I was going to hurt him if he makes one wrong move.

I close my eyes and rest my head on the back of the tub "I am fine just wanting to relax" I said with a straight face listening to the music in the background.

I hear a chuckle then I felt his fingers wrap around my chin making me open my eyes "Do you need company in this tub?' he laughs with a smirk.

I keep my face straight and try not to laugh "If you want, I don't have a problem with it" I said seeing that there was enough space for both him and me. Then there was still extra space left over" I said before closing my eyes knowing what his plan was.

I felt the water sink and I continue to rest there with my eyes closed. Then I felt his hands run up my body making me jump and open my eyes to look at him chuckling with a smirk building in his face "What the heck?" I ask.

He smiles and then sits next to me in the tub "I'm sorry look I know I am not always going to be around but I don't have all the time in the world to be angry at you, to loose memories with them. I learn that there is everything to count for in every second of the day. Whether it be a dirty diaper or a simple kiss, everything matters" he says as his hands hold mine.

I smile at his words because they were drawing me in more with every breath "I'm sorry I brought it up but I just really miss being a kid, you know. I just wanted to have a simple life with you but I guess we have all we want right now. I just really want you to be with us all the time" I said as I place my hands on his cheeks.

He smiles and puts a small amount of bubbles on my nose "I love you and don't worry I will be back before you know it. I have another week and then I'm off" he says softly before leaning in to give me a soft kiss.

I held him close and pulled away slowly, that's when I realize we were still in the bathtub "Babe we should really go back to sleep so we are rested for tomorrow" I smile as I held his face close to him.

He nods his heads and gets out to grab a towel "Stand up I want to wrap you in this towel" he says and I do so. His arms envelope me in the towel and he lets me step out but his arms never leave my body.

I was giggling "You forgot to wrap yourself in a towel" I said as I held the towel to me. I look up at him only looking at his face cause in my mind I was still scared of having much of anything right now.

He shrugs and smiles "We're married so its not a big deal. I might even sleep like this for the night" he chuckles as he goes to jump on the bed but grabs me first so we lay next to each other.

I rest my head on his chest and smile "I am just so lucky to have you" I whisper to him as I place a kiss to his chest. I felt so good around him, he made me so happy and I cant imagine not having Ross in my life. It didnt matter in what form he came as in a friend or a husband, my life would suck if he wasn't in it.

"I'm lucky to be with you, to have had married you, to be holding you right now. You are everything to me" he says with a smile.

I smile at him knowing how much his words mean to me "I love you" I said to him with a smile that just wouldn't shrink.

"I love you too" he says before kissing me.

This was such a perfect moment and I never want it to end. I just love this man so much that nothing can ruin it for me. He just means the world to me and its impossible for me to stop loving him. He is everything to me.