Life Choices

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I'm sorry I haven't updated in a few days, I've been sick and I still am but I'm crying my eyes out right now so I need to get something off my chest.

So today I went for a college taster, I did business and IT. When I actually go to college I want to do these courses, Hair and Beauty, Musical Performance and Law.

Ever since I've told my mum these choices she hasn't been supportive, no one in my family has. They all want me to do a levels for maths and business and IT. Its not something I want to do.

They're making teachers try to pressure me into taking a level courses, they pressure me into it and they just can't seem to understand I don't want to do a levels and it's MY fucking life, not theirs.

MY life, MY decisions.

They can't seem to wrap their heads around the fact I don't want to do further educational subjects, I want to do vocational courses. I want to express myself and be me. And that's my choice.

Today my grandma and grandad came around. They've always been the least supportive and they're strict and you obviously want to make them proud. When I was out of the room making my tea they started talking about me.

My mum said the teachers think I'm a disappointment because I'm not taking a levels, that I'm gonna be a failure and that they're all disappointed in me.

My grandma told my mum this, "Tell her if she doesn't take a levels she can't live at home anymore."

My mum said, "she'd just say she's moving to her dads"

My grandma said "Well tell him the same rules apply."

My family want to make me HOMELESS just because I won't take the courses they want me to and its fucking heartbreaking that the thought even crossed their minds.

Why can't anyone understand my choices? I feel trapped and I have no control and it's making my depression get worse and anxiety levels rise.

I just want to be free.

So please, fuck your pushy parents and over ruling families, do whatever the fuck you want to do and do it well. Go have fun and don't be pushed into making decisions you don't want to make. This is your future, no one else's. And if your family are like mine and want to kick you out, then go to social services, the council, your teachers and tell them and they'll find you a place to stay.

The amount of times I've wanted to move out and school have almost moved me to a foster placement is unimaginable. Just don't get trapped like I have, if you hate home you don't need to stay there.

I love you guys, please just be safe and make your own choices and be the best you can.

H xx

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