The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix Part Three

I Wouldn't Want It To Be You Either

James, Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter all sat around the Potters' living room. James sat in the big easy chair, Lily on the side of it with James's arm wrapped 'round her hips. Peter sat in the other chair, his legs twisted criss-cross and he picked at a loose thread on the stitching of his trainers, staring down at them silently. Sirius and Remus were on the couch, Remus laying across length wise, ankles cross on the arm, head propped up on a throw pillow, and, though in human form, Sirius was sprawled like a dog across him.

They'd all been silent for sometime - it was well into the morning, and though he felt like lead James knew he had to go to Mungo's soon. Dora would be expecting him, and wanting to come home, and he really needed to check on the Longbottoms, too, but he couldn't talk himself into moving much more than to slowly, absently, trace tiny figure eights against the smooth of Lily's skin just at the top of the waistband of her trousers.

It kept playing in his head.

"Right arrogant git you are, Potter. Remember just who it was who's gotten your arse out of trouble -- ME AND MY BROTHER, WHO BY THE WAY IS THE ONLY REASON THE WHEELS ARE STILL ON THIS CURRENT OPERATION BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE YOUR PART IN IT!" 

James closed his eyes.

He couldn't even remember the last conversation he'd had with Fabian.

"It's not your fault," Sirius said suddenly.

They all looked at him. 

He raised his head up, pushing off Remus's chest and looked at James. "I can feel it. The guilt. It isn't your fault."

James stared at him.

"Gid probably wouldn't even have remembered the fight by now, and even if he did he would've forgiven you. You lot would've made up and been alright the second you got a chance to talk. You were both hot headed and saying things and neither of you were totally wrong or totally right, it just -- it was poor timing is all. Poor timing to have a disagreement."

Remus looked up at Sirius, twisted his head 'round to look at James, then turned back to Sirius again, "What happened?"

"We had a row, Gideon and I," James said.

Peter piped up, "Sirius is right, Gideon would've forgave you."

Lily ran her hand through James's hair soothingly and bit her lips, eyes on her knees.

"He was right, I was being arrogant," James said. He closed his eyes as Lily stroked his hair, leaning into her hand. His heart felt so heavy in his chest.

"I hate Voldemort," Peter said.

All of them looked up in a slight panic at the sound of the name. Last time someone had said it amongst them - well - Regulus wasn't there to talk about it, was he? But nothing happened. Peter didn't disappear. He cowered in the seat, eyes searching the ceiling as though expecting the Dark Lord to come rappelling out of the ceiling and take him away.

Sirius's breath was shaky as he tentatively lay back down against Remus's chest, staring at Peter with a worried expression. Remus reached up and gently rubbed Sirius's back between his shoulder blades - something he'd found helped calm Sirius down when he was upset about Regulus. He felt the tension between Sirius's shoulder blades slowly loosen a bit as he rubbed along his spine.

"I do though, I hate him - I hate ... He Who Cannot Be Named," Peter squeaked, bold now that nothing had happened at the sound of the name.

"We all hate him Wormtail," Remus murmured.

Peter said, "It isn't fair."

"I know," Sirius said and he looked over at Peter with an expression of understanding which was so unlike how Sirius usually acted toward him that it gave Peter a bit of a start.