The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix Part Three

Leave Me to My Fake Breakdown

Bradley was drawing, kneeling at the coffee table, the suitcase open beside him, Dougal the demiguise seated on the edge of it, clinging onto the ladder, opaque when Sirius first stepped through the floo, but fading out of view the moment he laid eyes on the new arrival. Bradley looked at Dougal. "You don't have to disappear, Dou, it's just Sirius Black..." But the demiguise was already transparent and Bradley sighed, shaking his head. "He's so shy," he said, looking up at Sirius.

Sirius was shaking, a little bit breathless, and pale.

"Um... You alright?" Bradley asked, staring up at him.

Sirius nodded, staggered 'round the end of the couch, and disappeared up the hallway.

Bradley looked at Dougal, then leaned into the briefcase 'round the demiguise, "Hey Remus?" he called.

Remus was in the middle of holding seeds out to a whooper. "Yeah?" he looked up at the suitcase opening.

"Sirius just came home and I don't think he feels good."

Remus hesitated, poured out the rest of the seed onto the ground in front of the whooper, who enthusiastically started pecking at it with gusto, and hurried to get up the ladder and out of the suitcase. "What' makes you think that?" he asked on his way up.

"Dunno, just, he was quiet --"

"Yeah, red flag," muttered Remus, halfway up the ladder.

"And pale and stuff." Bradley continued.

There was a loud crash from up the hallway.

Bradley glanced at the hallway. "Also there's stuff breaking in your room."

"Grand." Remus climbed out of the suitcase, lifting Dougal with him. "Are you going to watch Dou or does he need to go back in the case?"

"I'll watch him," Bradley answered.

Remus closed the briefcase so the Niffler wouldn't get out and rushed down the hallway.

Sirius was in the bedroom, his walking in circles, hair unkempt - wild, really - and his eyes glistening but not quite to the point of crying. Red, though, Remus noticed, which meant he most definitely had been. He paced manically, shaking his head, muttering.

"...Sirius?" Remus was tentative.

Sirius stopped abruptly and looked up.

"You alright?"

"He's a mess, he's a mess and he's not telling me and there's something going on - there's something happened and I don't understand -  don't get it - something about time, time and there's things been messed up... I was dead, then I was alive, and there's Maryrose - twice! - twice, Remus! and then... Oh You Know Who was just - just... laced... everywhere, everywhere, Remus. Like a god-damn fudge ripple from Hell! Woven all throughout, just recoloring everything. Ruining everything. EVERYTHING, Remus, every memory... From color to black and white, just like that, just like that - and he wonders why he can't remember - and that woman - oh, oh, oh - Remus! That woman -- she --" Sirius stopped. 

Remus was staring at him with fear-filled eyes. "What are you on about?"

Sirius realized suddenly he didn't know what he should tell Remus and what he shouldn't. This was James's private stuff after all, and if it was him, Sirius, he wouldn't want James or Lily or Remus or anyone to go blabbering about all his private stuff to everyone else. And he suddenly felt very, very guilty for having done the love magic without James's permission anyway and he flushed dark and turned away, putting his hands up into his hair.

He wanted to undo it.

He couldn't undo it.

And he shouldn't, even if he could, because James Potter clearly so desperately needed it and just had no idea. Someone should've done this for him a long time ago. He was too damn proud to ask for help but bloody hell if he didn't need it.