The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix Part Three

Despite What She Tried To Teach You

Sirius was outside the college on the sidewalk by the large mural that had been painted by the students in the quad. It was raining lightly, the evening overcast and a bit chilly for early September. His hands shook as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes, shaking one out and digging for his silver lighter as he stared at the mural. It was a painting of a overview map of London, the Thames snaking over the concrete in brilliant blue hues, and major landmarks painted on in different styles by different students, each little bit initialed in paint. It felt like it was taking forever to get the cigarette lit, and he finally got the thing going and drew a long, deep breath of it.

The door behind he'd fled through opened with a squeal, but he ignored it, taking another deep breath of cigarette.

"Sirius?" Remus's voice was gentle, if a little confused, as he stepped up behind his husband. "You alright, Padfoot?"

Sirius nodded, turning around to see Remus.

"You ran out of there like a bat out of hell," Remus pointed out.

Sirius blew smoke out in a long, shivering stream as he stared at Remus. "Good record."

"What?"

"Bat Out of Hell. It's a good record."

"Sirius. Focus."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry... just... Are you alright?" Remus asked gently.

Sirius said, "I had no idea that your Stewie was Spencer Stewart - my Spencer."

"Your Spencer?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The Spencer," Sirius corrected. He paused, studying the cigarette a moment before taking another drag. Gods, he hadn't thought about Spencer in ages. Hadn't talked about him probably ever. Not even to James, he reckoned. He closed his eyes. Lily probably knew about Spencer on some level, because of the love magic... He wondered if Lily was feeling his anxiety right now and he took a deep breath, trying to relax himself a bit - for her sake. He looked into Remus's hazel eyes - closer to brown than green, but not quite the chocolate color that Siris preferred they be. "You know that I started falling for you when you showed me your drawings?"

Remus blinked. "You did?"

Sirius nodded. "Art has always been really important to me. Not something I can do, but something I appreciate when others can. Like you. Like Spencer."

"You saw Spencer in the square when you were a kid, you said?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded yet again. "He used to sit on the bench across from Number 12 in the square, his back to our house, and he'd draw for hours. I liked to sit up in the attic window and watch. Mother didn't approve of the world outside, we didn't get out a lot, and I started feeling... I don't know, it felt like we were being kept away from something and I felt like I was rebelling a bit when I watched the square. Muggle watching, I called it. I just wanted to know, you know? Mother and Father were so against muggles and the things they do and I don't know what I expected to see out my little window looking out onto Grimmauld Place. It certainly wasn't the bustling hub of muggle activity that I'd hoped, but I did see Spencer and his drawings, and I watched through omnioculars while he made these fantastical worlds with his pencils and I thought it was... magic."

Remus's eyes searched Sirius as he spoke, his heart tugging with every word.

"When I saw some blokes bullying him about one day, it enraged me. I never felt so protective over anyone in my life before that except --" he paused.

Regulus.

Then he went on, "And I didn't again after that until I met you."

Remus's eyes met Sirius's squarely.