The world moves without me (Branch Angst)

You only feel alone.

Branch's pov:

Yeah time has been flying, a few arguments and our humble family goes back to normal. I guess we are a normal family now. Poppy has been visiting a lot less lately, she thinks it's good for me to get outside but lately I don't really want to do anything. Everyday is just the same now, same old boring day. For some reason I find comfort in my trauma. Which is pretty weird saying it out loud? The most eventful thing that happened this week was when I tried to kick John Dory out the house! Yes we are fine now, I feel fine. Maybe that's the thing, I don't want to feel just fine. I guess I'm really not happy with anything.

"Ugh!" I groaned out loud rolling on my bed

I sloped off my bed and sat on the ground hugging my knees, this was one way to make myself feel better. I kept sighing loudly, getting annoyed at myself for the littlest things. I opened my door and peeked out my room, John Dory and Floyd were chilling on the couch, using their phones. We all acted like children when it came to technology.

"Hey guys" I walked over to them

"Sup." John Dory nodded

Floyd got up from his the couch and called me over, he motioned me towards him physically with his hand in the air, waving it around like a lost pirate.

"Come here!" Floyd yelled

"I'm coming!" I yelled back

"That's what she said." John Dory laughed

I rolled my eyes and walked over to Floyd, my eyes widened at the tiny little photograph he was holding. It was a photo of when I was a baby. How adorable.

"Cute?" I questioned, not knowing what he meant with it

"You're so adorable branch!" Floyd giggled

It was a weird feeling seeing my mini self, it was something that could haunt you for days. I rolled my eyes and walked away, ready to continue my cycle of the same old day. On the way to my room I tripped over a sharp magazine and sliced my left ankle. My mouth slowly crept into a smile, the satisfaction of feeling something new. God! I snapped myself out of my ridiculous thoughts, I couldn't go back to that life.

I worked so hard to 'stay clean' but all my progress was destroyed in minutes. I just wanted to be comforted by my pain. Because pain will never leave you. My heart shattered at all my hard work being swept away like a cold breeze. I grasped my ankle tightly, it wasn't a deep cut but more of a scratch.

This only reminded me of one thing. Day 1.

About 5 months ago the same exact thing happened to me, when I was trying to keep my colour obviously. I tripped on a sharp object and my life went down hill from there. All those traumatic experiences made me feel forgotten. It was exhausting to feel so weak. It was exhausting to feel so... helpless. And it was exhausting when I couldn't get better.

I wish someone else could understand how I felt. I only felt alone.

Floyd's pov:

My day was going awesome! Everyone was getting along. I loved when the day was silent, it made me feel like I had no worries in the world. Except. I had one major worry. Remember when my talent was stolen? I had been getting weaker each day. The weaker I got the less motivation I had, some days I didn't even want to move. I kept a pretty smile on for my family and hoped they wouldn't worry. I had to be a role model for my brothers, to show them even after my traumatic events I could still be strong.

"John?" I asked

"Yeah?" John Dory looked up from his phone

"I love you!" I pouted

"Awh... fuck off." John Dory snickered

I was just stirring up some trouble, it was hard keeping everyone together. I could barely keep myself together. One day I'm just going to fall apart and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

I wish someone else could understand how I felt. I only felt alone.

John dory's pov:

I was sitting silently on the couch hopelessly scrolling through my phone. Every little detail on my phone pissed me off so much! I just got so angry at the tiniest things that didn't matter. I could admit I had anger issues yes, but I really couldn't control myself sometimes. I didn't want to be angry... I just couldn't control the sudden burst of wanting to break things. Screaming was my only escape. But the louder I screamed nobody heard. Nobody heard my cry's of pain. I was viewed as the monster and the mean older brother of the family. I wasn't always so angry though, it definitely was some built up trauma I refuse to talk about. I didn't realise that the past could bug you so much.

"John?" Floyd spoke up

"Yeah?" I questioned

"I love you!" Floyd giggled

"Awh... fuck off." I groaned.

God why did I say that! I wish it would think before I acted! The words slipped out of my mouth like a slippery water slide.

I wish someone else could understand how I felt. I only felt alone.

Clays pov:

I groaned as I rested my head against my wall. The room was an absolute party, viva had invited Poppy over to party. Viva and Poppy partied almost every day, expect for when Poppy was with branch of course. The loud music was exhausting! It was something new every single day. I wish I had a few days of peace to calm myself down and rest, just a few boring days is what I needed. It would be a dream to just sit on the couch and scroll hopelessly on my phone.

"Clay! Come show us the rusty robot!" Poppy giggled

I tried to act more fun but I wasn't that guy anymore. Nobody wanted to hang around me when I cried and read in my sad book club. I starred at myself in the mirror, I was struggling a lot with my self imagine. Being serious made me happy, but some people couldn't accept the new me. Now I'm not saying I'm mad at viva, of course not! I'm just saying I... well... I didn't know what I wanted! Maybe I wanted to be taken seriously.

I wish someone else could understand how I felt. I only felt alone.

Bruce's pov:

I groaned loudly, I had another angry customer at vacation island today. He called me fat and shamed me for my body just because we messed up his order! I got really angry but I couldn't think of the correct words to say back to him, instead I stayed silent and kept my cool. I wish I could just thoughtlessly say words when I was angry! Just blabber all my feeling out! Instead I would try to think of the perfect words to say... which resulted in me not saying anything most of the time. I was extremely hurt with the man's comments. I wasn't one to take rude criticism but I had always struggled with my body image. I was alot happier that I gained weight but some people just made me feel absolutely worthless, like I didn't matter. Most guys on the beach were handsome and had a huge six pack! Sometimes I wish I could be like that again... or maybe just not feel so shit about myself.

I wish someone else could understand how I felt. I only felt alone.

Nobodys pov:

Everyone was struggling with their own personal problems. It was a common thing to envy another persons life style but in reality everyone was unhappy. This was a broken family... with a lot of secrets. Everyone was waiting for their happy little ending. Which was a far way away from now. Maybe never to even come? Who knows.

"I'm a mess." Branch, Floyd, John Dory, Clay and Bruce said at the same time.