The world moves without me (Branch Angst)

Happy pills

Branch's pov:

I followed viva into my bunker, hiding behind her the whole time. We slowly went down the Elevator as the ride came to a stop. Viva marched off the elevator, knocking on John dory's door. John opened the door all teary eyed, he definitely had been crying. I moved infront of viva, I leaned in and gave John Dory a hug.

"You've been gone for hours branch, I was worried." John Dory sniffled

"I'm sorry." I sobbed.

I closed my eyes tightly. I didn't notice how longer I had left for, I honestly blamed myself for the fight. I heard backing up as she was going to leave.

"Wholesome moment and all but I'm late for me and clays Hangout." Viva nodded as she left to leave the bunker.

None of us went to stop viva from leaving as the moment was too good to loose. I crouched down picking up the flattened ring I broke, I shifted and bended it back to shape sliding it onto my finger.

"See I fixed it." I smiled

John dory's eyes shined as I fixed the ring, our promise wasn't broken just yet.

"Look me and Floyd were talking and I realised I shouldn't have said all of that." John Dory scratched his head

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have yelled back." I coughed.m

Both of us were really awkward, starting a new conversation would be hard enough as it is for me.

"I understand, I'll give you space." John Dory said moving back into his room.

I went into my room and closed the door, I slipped off my hoodie and starred at my disgusting figure. I gasped gripping my mouth shut as I looked at my body scars. they were white. They had healed white which means they will stay forever. I glazed my finger over the white line wincing at each touch. What really caught my attention was the tiny bag of pills that spilled on my floor as they feel out my hoodie. I looked at the bag which had small writing that said 'contains strong substances like naproxen, antidepressants & weed' I didn't know what any of those words meant, I wasn't educated on my 'pill knowledge'

(Don't come for me idk actually know how pills work so pretend these pills are magical or something)

I mean you only live once, I had to try everything. I slipped the pill into my mouth before sipping it down with a gulp of water. I waited for about 10 seconds before I rolled my eyes. No effect at all, what was I expecting? A instant reaction? I rolled over onto my bed as I felt disappointed.

A few minutes later, like about twenty minutes later I felt some effects. I didn't realise it was the pills effecting me. I went to sit up but my body went numb. I couldn't feel my hands, it was a good type of numb. This is the kind of kick I would get from hurting myself. I instantly smiled as I jumped up and down, some reason I felt really happy. Nothing in the world mattered anymore!

I jumped out of my room barging into John dory's room, he was visually upset still. I couldn't help but blame myself. I tried to feel some empathy for him but I couldn't find the emotion to be sad right now.

"Branch? What's wrong?" John Dory looked at me.

"John! I missed you! Let's hang out!" I jumped up and down.

"Woah! You've got a lot of energy, what changed in the last thirty minutes?" John Dory smiled.

"Everything has changed!" I clapped.

I instantly ran up to John Dory giving him a tight hug, I nuzzled my face into his chest being extra clingy and affectionate. John dory's whole mood changed, he looked happier...

"Branch I'm loving the new you." John Dory grinned

"Me to." I giggled

I twirled myself around and leaped into Floyd's room skipping. I opened the door and pulled Floyd off his bed quickly.

"Branch what are you doing?" Floyd giggled

"Let's hang out! With me and John!" I giggled.

"Alright let's go!" Floyd stood up following me

7 whole hours later. (Next day)

I don't remember much from yesterday, just a bunch of fun. Too much fun. I just remembered downing the whole bag of pills before the night ended. The happiness only lasted so long before it wore out. I was passed out on my bed, John Dory and Floyd were passed out in the living room. I looked down at my feet, a still rolling bottle of whisky rolled against my ankle. Well that answers my questions, we were drinking again.

I grabbed my phone and texted Dante. I had gotten his number from the last time we Met. 'Hey dude, I need more of those pills.' I texted to Dante. I hadn't felt so good in years, I needed those pills. I was on edge every second I waited until Dante texted back. 'I gotcha, but it's going to cost you 250$' Dante texted back. Was he insane!?! I didn't have that amount of cash. It was expensive to be happy... I tossed my phone onto my floor and gripped my knees tightly. I had fallen into Dante's scam, I needed relief more than anything right now. I stood up shamefully gripping a sharp blade in my finger.

I had to go back to my old way, it wasn't something I was proud of doing but it was just something to cure one of my many addictions.
I ripped the blade tightly against my skin just to see if I still bleed. I satisfying red colour really complimented my dull skin. The cold sensation of blood dripping down my left wrist was a familiar kind of comfort. I felt so free in this moment, I slowly watched the blood evaporate or dry into my wounds. I didn't have any intention to clean myself off, I never had to hide stuff like this when I'm alone. I had relapsed again. I wiped my hand on a paper towel drying myself off. Huh!? The blood instantly returned to my cuts like I hadn't wiped it off. I kept wiping and cleaning the blood but it just kept returning. I think I stated this before but some reason I couldn't keep the wound closed. God dammit! I held two of my fingers together as I squeezed my wounds together. I rushed into the bathroom grabbing a wet towel and pressing it tightly into my skin. I held pressure down tightly as I began to loose consciousness. I leaned against the Wall hugging myself tightly, I lifted my face up to the ceiling taking in huge breathes.