Twenty One Pilots- Joshler Now We're Stressed Out

Chapter Twenty Four - Thoughts

P.o.v Josh

Tyler had another lash out last night. I don't know what's gotten into him. I just wish that he could see how much he means. He has so much purpose in life.

That night was when I knew... I need to start writing these vows. My baby needs to hear what I have to say.

I woke him up and he was confused as to how he was in our bed at home. I had said,

"Ty, I carried you up the stairs. You're too cute to wake up."

"What's that smell?" He inhaled as his eyelids flickered. "I'm starving."

" I know babe, I told you to eat yesterday and you refused.."

"I don't remember much from that day.."

"Well, come downstairs, I made you something sweet."

Chocolate strawberry pancakes, eggs, waffles, toast, cinnamon rolls, homemade orange juice and so much bacon. I wanted him to eat good.

"did you make any sausage?"

"you can have that for dinner babe." I smiled.

As we were eating he paused for a bit with a serious look on his face.

"Josh.."

"Yes Ty?"

"Promise me things will be clearer?"

"What do you mean babe?"

"Promise me life gets better."

That's kind of a hard promise to make. People say that whenever you're going through things but what Tyler is suffering is internal. It dates back from him being at least ten years old. I didn't know if I could promise something so big.. I know I'm going to take good care of him but I can't control what goes on in his head. I thought about the promise for a while..

"As long as you promise me that when something's wrong you will tell me.. Don't let it eat you alive. You're better than that."

I knew he was thinking about the last promise he broke, he quickly answered,

"Yes, I promise Joshy."

"I promise too Ty."

"I love you so much, you know, without you, I'd be a kid trying to get accepted into colleges for music and another Ohio kid in the dark.."

"Hey, baby... I have a day planned for us so, hurry up!"

He quickly ate the rest of his food, we went to go shower, got dressed and got in the car.

"Alright Josh where are we going?"

"Can you open the glove box?"

"The only thing in here is a coin.."

"Flip it."

It landed on heads so I took a left. Every chance to turn both ways we flipped.

"What are you doing Josh..."

Heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails...

He flipped the coin 21 times. We ended up under a bridge which was perfect. I parked the car in the nearest parking lot and told him to close his eyes. We walked under the bridge and I sat him down.

"Open."

"Josh!! What is this?"

"I want to read you something.."

"read what?"

"My vows to you."

"Josh no.. Let it wait till the wedding. We don't even know when that'll be!"

"It's just a draft please, you flipped the coin, this is happening."

"Hey, my name is Tyler, I'm 18, and I'm still figuring that out myself.." the first time I ever heard you spoke. The first time I questioned who I really was. The first time I knew the people I hung out with were the wrong crowd. Tyler, every day with you is an adventure. Im a man of few words, but a thousand thoughts, all thinking how do I say this to you. You are my other half, on the road, at a show and in our home. You should take my soul... I can't tell you how much you mean to me because it's hard to believe, it's infinite. I used to say I want to die before I'm old but because of you I might think twice. Being on the road with you makes me feel at home always. I think about the end just way to much and I remember all the good and all the bad between us. But mostly the good. Tyler, five letters... There's five letters in heart, five words in the sentence 'The love of my life.' Five syllables in Twenty One Pilots,' and five Times you have saved my life. I plan to be yours till the day that I die, and even after... It was Hot in that box, you opened it and I'm glad you said yes.. You know.."

"Sorry Ty, I don't know where this was going.."

He was sobbing and smiling, I didn't know if he was okay or not. I sat back down next to him and gave him the paper. He looked at the title

"Vows 4 baby Ty."

And he just smiled.

"Josh, I love you.. so much."

I helped him off the ground. We walked to the car and I drove us to get coffee and when we came in our song was playing. Tear In My Heart. He started singing and I grabbed two pens and did the drumming. The customers in the shop didn't seem to know us but a few workers asked for photos. We got our drinks for free, I felt bad so we bought food and tipped.
We had to find a time where a break would be perfect. For him, our families, a honeymoon. We spent an hour talking about marriage. Then we ventured off and started talking about things. Aha..

"Tyler!" I caught him off guard and kissed him. He still had whipped cream from his coffee on his lips. Tasted only sweeter.

"Gosh Josh."

"Yes babe?"

"Lets go."

We drove for hours l, listening to music and passing time. When we got back home we went up to our room. He stored the vow draft in his journal. We're engaged now and I still don't know what's in there...

He leaned against me and kissed my neck. I turned him over and straddled his body as I felt my way up his shirt.

The feel of his breath against my skin as I caressed his thighs. He whispered in my ear, "I want you so bad Josh." I'd give anything to hear that wherever. I licked his neck and bit a little bit.

"I want you Tyler Joseph."

We undressed, turned off the lights and explored each other's bodies.

The thoughts ran in the back of my mind. This body was mine, my body was his. We were one. Love.