Chapter Four - Addict With A Pen

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P.o.v Tyler

I haven't been to church in what seemed like forever. That day at taco bell Josh invited me to come to church with him... Church.

I believe in a God but where was he when I was kicked? Where was he when they got me down? Where was he when I relapsed? I'm missing water of life without you God. Talk to me sometime. I need something to believe in. I no longer know what to turn to.

I try to keep my life in tact, I break down. But I try my best to hold on to what I've got, this life is all I need. When I walk into that church I want you to see. I'm not the greatest of followers and I keep messing up, I'm so screwed up. Too screwed up to ever deserve your love... Although I've been travelling the deserts of my mind I know you'll come through.

I guess these are my prayers to you in the simplest form. I'm not on my knees, I'm not begging for your grace and I'm not folding my hands. Simply in my bed, not cutting tonight, writing and giving my everything up for you.

Wash me with your water Sunday and open my eyes Father...

I try so hard, my best, to walk this earth in light and serve in your name. But it's hard to when society brings you down and the government could care less what religion you are as long as you make them money.

Matthew 6:24
"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth."

Goodnight God, I know you'll come around.. Tomorrow's sure to come.

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