Twenty One Pilots- Joshler Now We're Stressed Out

Chapter Fifteen - Doubt

P.o.v Josh

Tyler and I spent every day of summer together, we had a small tour, went to taco bell almost every other weekend, partied, took naps together, played on the computer. We enjoyed the company of only having each other. I remember jumping on a trampoline into his pool,

"that was actually Sick"

"So SICK" it was an inside joke.

I loved this boy. There were times where one of us got bad anxiety or depression and instant happiness came around. He was my other half in such short spand.

I knew he was leaving soon but I didn't want him to. I wanted to hold him forever, in my arms, in my bed, in my room, in our hearts. I was so scared about what may come.

We had one last night with each other. It happened.. Not just sex, we made love and fell asleep in each other's arms. His parents were downstairs making breakfast. When we woke up he smiled and kissed me, went downstairs and his parents were so happy together but sad he was leaving.

"You look good cause you got a sun tan.." his dad said to his mom.

"Don't climb anymore."

"I don't climb very much."

"Don't climb anymore."

His family was cute and the breakfast was amazing. I had thanked them for the meal. We had finished packing his belongings in a moving truck and said goodbyes to his parents.

I drove him down there and he was so excited. We rode the elevator up to his dorm. We were making funny noises until a man came in, we laughed it off but he felt immature and immediately got serious.

Tyler had done it. He had went off to college.. I had a stable job at guitar center. He was in theater and many other good classes. He started a side project with some college friends. I kind of missed him...

We didn't have any shows, any laughs, any kisses, he kind of cut me off. Although we talked daily, it turned into every few days. He'd forget to call and tell me goodnight. I tried to forget about it, I tried to pay no mind...

He was my boyfriend for almost a year. I knew when he'd come home I'd tell my parents, if we even still were together.

He posted a song called Dollhouse for his theater class and it sounded really good. He didn't need my drums. He didn't need me...

I had wondered how college was going but I continued working.
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P.o.v Tyler

"Hey man, you're really good with the electronic music, I've got a keyboard. Will you help me compose a song?"

"Sure thing Tyler. Send me a track of you singing with piano, I'll do the rest."

"Thanks man!! So SICK." I said it but he didn't get the reference....I missed Josh.

Doubt

Scared of my own image

Scared of my own immaturity

(college was scary)

Scared of my own ceiling

(it wasn't the same as looking at Josh's)

Scared I'll die of uncertainty

Fear might be the death of me

Fear leads to anxiety

Don't know what's inside of me

(I couldn't do this alone)

Don't forget about me

Don't forget about me

Even when I doubt you

I'm no good without you, no, no

(it's been so long since we talked)

Temperature's dropping

Temperature's dropping

I'm not sure if I can

See this ever stopping

Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no

(I felt so cold without him, so empty)

You are all that I've got, no

Don't forget about me

Don't forget about me

Even when I doubt you

I'm no good without you, no, no no no no

(I missed my baby so much)

Gnawing on the bishops

Claw away at this system

Repeating simple phrases

Someone holy insisted

Want the mark he's made on my skin

To mean something to me again

(we had gotten matching "X" tattoos, without him dragging me to church I felt God forget about me)

Hope you haven't left without me

Hope you haven't left without me, please

Don't forget about me

Don't forget about me

Even when I doubt you

I'm no good without you, no

Don't forget about me

(all hope is lost without God and my Josh.)

I wrote this song in hopes Josh would see I still loved him. I still needed him. I couldn't wait to leave. I'm thinking about finishing this year and coming back home. If he still remembered me. I love him... Why didn't he just tell his parents sooner? It was killing me inside.