𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑

1- 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄

I woke up from that dream . A dream which still haunts me . Me freaking out , panicking and breathing for life . This has been the worst phase of my life which flashes back to me in my dreams , which makes me hate my life even more .

Like everyday I woke up , made my bed , had a long breath and got ready to start another day of my life . I started the music from my playlist . It helps me enjoy the daily things I do like organize my room, my closet which I do almost everyday cause I am a 'keep that thing the way it is supposed to be' type of girl . I want everything to be perfect . If I had do them without music it would have taken 2-3 hours just to complete the work because I would get tired and bored again and again .

Music starts playing . "Lag Jaa gale ke phir ye haseen Raat ho na ho ..shayad fir iss Janam me mulakaat ho Naa hoo .." this was the first song for my day . I was so tired not like I have done an one hour workout session . I was tired of my life my overthinking my anxiety .

The thing was that I broke up with my ex a week ago . He dumped me . Yes he did . I have accepted the reality but I was more saddened by thought that was I really not enough or what . I don't think love is for me . Or it is like the love I want does not exist . I don't want any other man in my life know . I just want to explore myself . Yes , I am in my 'I don't want any man phase' .

I got up , cleaned my room a little bit , organized , did jouranling and got into the shower . As the hot drops of water fall on me a sense of relaxation crosses through my body .

I want to feel this kind of warmth in someone's arms . I want love . I want to be loved but I don't think I would get someone who loves me the same way I do .

I want that kind of love which is written in books . A love that is out of the world . Which no one has ever experienced and neither will .

I wanna experience that love where he finds beautiful meanings to my name , where he tells me I looked beautiful sleeping last night even though he didn't see me but he imagined me , where he puts my hair behind my ear and cup my face and say nothing , just look at me with love in his eyes . Where I'll be excited for his birthday more than my own . where he'll get excited about the lipstick marks on the letters I wrote him . Where he'll text me after we meet to tell what he loved the most . Where we talk about anything without making sense . Where he'll write me a long good morning text because my yesterday wasn't good and he wanna make sure my today is better . Where he'll randomly talk about how our first kiss felt like even after years . I want that love and nothing less .

Anybody can change for someone they want and the truth was that he didn't wanted me . Neither I asked him to change nor I was the one who fought . He was the one who constantly fought about random reasons just to make a big fight and get a reason to break up with me . And he got that .

Fuck him.

Maybe I was not that enough to match his level .
And why the fuck do I constantly come back to thinking about love.

Hey my little brain , you need to stop thinking about love and continue back to your daily life .

I got out of the shower and got into a bath rope .
I planned my day in my head . I had meetings that were delayed as I was not able to cope up with my work . I had to meet my friends with whom I couldn't hang out for all these days because I did felt like .

I also have to meet a new person in our the 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' Family . Actually he was only new for me . He was my friends's friend .

My friend group has six members .
Me , my bestfriends sridhi and kainaat , sridhi's boyfriend aayan , kainaat's boyfriend rian , and that New to me guy sidharth.

Actually all the boys were school time friends . They all joined the same college which I joined except the new to me guy named Sidharth . He moved to New York because of his father's business .

He has completed his higher studies there . We have completed our studies here and we are all getting very good start in the professions we choose for ourselves .

I have never talked to Sidharth personally . It has always just been a casual hi from both sides on video calls that aayan did . Actually Ayaan , Sidharth and Rian were close friends and I , Sridhi and Kainaat joined this college . We got best of friends and these girls got these good guys for themselves .

But no one from my friend group knew about my relationship nor my break up . It wasn't like I wasn't comfortable telling them .

I wanted to but my ex always wanted me to stay shush because he didn't wanted anyone from our college to know about our relationship . The college ended one month ago and so did my relationship . He just used me to pass his time .

Leave him again !

Coming back from the thought I realised that I was getting late for my meetings . I got ready with simple office outfit . I paired it with simple earrings and got into my heels .
The look:-

I got down to our hall where everyone was sitting . I had my breakfast and bid a sweet good bye to my mother and father and slapped on the head of my brother showing him my tongue.
I took the keys of my G-wagon (not mine..it is gift for me by my father on my birthday because I always wanted one..but one day I would buy it by on my own )
I sat inside the car and got off to work!

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Hello people . I am a new writer and started writing for fun . I hope you all like the beginning of the book.
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Lovey dovie !
Instagram: ananya._writes
Word count -1060