Soleil & Tremaine (A love story)

Chapter 84

Soleil POV

To be continued.

"Tremaine I'ma beat that bitch down on my mama I'ma beat her ass! I'ma whoop that bitch!" I yelled.

She triggered me.

"Calm down calm down okay? I heard everything, let's go in and talk about it. Come on, come on. It's okay, I got chu." Tremaine said as he kissed my cheek over and over, and I watched that bitch go in her house and quickly shut the door.

"Come on.." Tremaine said opening the door and we both walked in and shut it behind us.

I sat down on the couch, rubbing my face before I just put my elbows on my knees and stared at the ground.

"Babe.." Tremaine said.

I was so out of it for a second, it's like I wanted to respond but couldn't.

"Mookie" He said and I looked up at him.

"What's going through your head? Can you talk to me?" He asked sitting beside me.

"Tremaine she.. Triggered something from my past. The things she was saying, triggered me. And brought up old wounds that I never spoke about." I said.

"What do you mean?" Tremaine asked.

I sighed before looking over at him.

"When my mom first gave me and my sister up for child protective services, we got separated as you know." I started off.

"Mhm" He said.

"And the very first foster home I went to, I was about three or four. I stayed there till I was ten because of what happened." I said.

"What happened?" Tremaine asked.

I was quiet for a moment just trying to gather myself.

I never spoke about it because it's difficult but Tremaine has every right to know.

"The lady I was living with had three kids. Two boys, one girl. The girl was the oldest, and she was 18." I said.

"Mhm" Tremaine said.

"And I was 10. She molested me Tremaine." I flat out said and Tremaine's eyes widened as he just looked at me.

"She always said weird things but at the time I was ten, I didn't know really what she was implying. But she always called me beautiful, she always said she wanted to lay with me, and things like that. I was thinking it was like a big sister thing, because I didn't have my REAL big sister you know?" I said.

"Yeah definitely." Tremaine said.

"And one day, I was asleep and she came in the room and started touching me, inappropriately. On my titties, my stomach, and my area. I tried to stop her but she was much more stronger than me at the time because she was much older. And when I was screaming for help, her brothers came in and she stopped and said I was playing tag with her. It was so stupid. I told her mother and her mom did not believe me. She said I was searching for attention man." I said as I took a deep breath feeling my eyes water up but I gathered myself.

I'm not crying bout that shit man.

No. I refuse.

"Then I told Diana because she was my social worker at the time, as you know, and she made sure that was taken care of. I moved with Lynette, which wasn't any better really but at least she or her kids ain't touch me." I said.

"I remember that Lynette bitch" Tremaine said.

"Always gone be a bitch." I said shaking my head.

"Mookie baby how come you never told me about this?" Tremaine's asked.

"It's embarrassing baby. It's embarrassing." I said.

"No it's not, you shouldn't be embarrassed at all, that shit was not your fault." Tremaine said hugging me, and I hugged him back closing my eyes.

"That's why when Gina was saying you're not gonna give me what I want? I'll do whatever you want me to do, it just triggered me and angered me because that's what that girl KEPT saying to me as she was molesting me and I kept trying to get her off of me." I said.

"Soleil this is why I'm so protective over you. Baby you been through so much, I commend you for still having an open heart and for being so strong. Most people would've broke by now. But you still here thuggin. I love you so much." Tremaine said.

"I love you more." I said as we were still hugging. "I feel so safe with you Tremaine. God handcrafted you so perfectly for me." I added.

He kissed my forehead saying "Now that I'm here? Nobody gone EVER lay they hands on you. Till I'm fuckin six feet Mookie. You living worry free. You have my word on that." Tremaine said looking me in my eyes.

I nodded my head and he gave me a kiss.

"Me and Diana are the only ones that know this?" Tremaine asked.

"Yes." I said.

"How come you never told your dad about it when he came back?" Tremaine asked.

"Because I don't want him to feel bad. He feels bad enough that he wasn't able to be around during my childhood since he was incarcerated. If I tell him that? He'll feel even worse. And I don't want that. He's here now, and that's what matters." I said.

"Definitely, I feel you on that." Tremaine said.

"But back then, when that shit happened, I used to just be so mad at my parents. I'd sit on the porch and just wish I'd die. I used to be like dying would be better than this shit. I used to be so upset, wondering why my parents didn't protect me from that shit. Things that I didn't understand as a child. I always gave my dad more grace though, because he was in jail. If he could've been around he would've. But my mom? I used to hate her. I just wanted to die Tremaine. All that shit I endured as a kid. I just wanted to die." I said.

"That shit hurt my heart cuh. I don't like hearing that. Because I know what that feel like. But see baby, me and you? We in this thang for life. We unstoppable." Tremaine said.

"That's right baby" I said with a smile as I put my arms around his neck.

"And we gone beat the odds, they don't believe in us because they say I'm a thug, and we BOTH felons. But it's coo, watch, we used to proving people wrong." Tremaine said.

"Me and you." I said putting my forehead against his.

"You and me." He said back and I smiled.

"Two thugs" He added and we both laughed as I hugged him and said "I love you so muchhhhhhh"

-

This was hard for me to put out publicly but I hope this helps anybody that went through anything similar or even worse than what I went through. My heart goes out to anyone who suffered from that, as a kid or an adult, doesn't matter how old you were when it happened it's still traumatizing and detrimental. And my heart goes out to you if you are still suffering from what somebody did in silence.

I love you all.