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04
YOU STOOD in front of her grave, a small bouquet of flowers in your right hand.
nothing came to mind as tears trudged down your face quietly, sliding underneath your chin and finally resting on the soil beneath you.
it was hard to imagine that she was gone — ripped away from all of you as if she had never existed in the first place.
you knelt, placing the flowers in front of the gravestone, pinching your lips together.
in your mind, you felt you had no right to speak; to ask her for forgiveness. she would have looked up at you curiously, unsure why you would feel this way.
she would have asked you, y/n what makes you think this is your fault?
then, she would have wrapped her arms around your shoulders and caressed the back of your head lovingly.
she would have smiled into your hair and whispered, you did everything you could.
she wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself. not after watching you desperately wash her blood off of your hands; ripping and tearing at your skin until you were coated in your own blood.
your eyes wandered to them, the white bandage still wrapped neatly. you could hear a shuffling behind you, and since you hadn't seen her this morning, you could only assume she had come later than expected.
you looked over your shoulder, met with a pair of cold gray hues.
she stared down at you before glancing at the flowers in front of you. her mouth twitched slightly as tears gathered in her eyes, her knees buckling. she met the dirt beneath her, clinging onto your shoulder with one hand.
you didn't say a word, only allowed the sound of her sobs to fill the atmosphere around you.
looking away, you squeezed your eyes shut.
what could you say to her?
she had not only lost her best friend, but someone she loved so deeply. more than herself, more than anyone else.
someone she had been with since she was a kid, and someone she planned on growing old with.
the sound of her sobs stopped suddenly, "we never got married," she hiccuped out, reaching her hand to touch the top of the grave stone.
there, laid a small silver wedding band. you guessed she had gotten that before the latest expedition.
you turned to her, watching as she stuffed her face into the same red scarf she wore for so many years. you couldn't blame her, it had become something of comfort — just like the necklace around your neck had.
