jellybean • billie eilish

twenty one

the next time my eyes opened, it was three o'clock in the afternoon and i was shocked.

i had no idea how i had slept so long because i wasn't planning on sleeping at all.

you're just so weak.
you can't even stay awake when you say you will.

my phone began to ring from next to me, my mom's contact lighting up my phone screen.

i lifted my phone up, trying to answer the call but for some reason my hands were shaking.

"oh good you're awake." i heard kiera say.

when i heard her speak, i let out the most ear-piercing scream as she had scared me so badly.

"never. do. that. again." i spoke firmly, putting the emphasis on every word.

a smile played on her lips, telling me that she was struggling to hold in a laugh.

although i would love to sit around laughing all day, i either need to answer this call or find out what kiera wants.

she's not your friend.

"why are you here?" i questioned.

she looked up at me, before pausing because she had forgotten why she had come here.

"nicole said she wants you, something to do with this sensor thing." she told me.

no don't go.

"do i have to get up?" i asked, although i already knew the answer.

she nodded, not allowing me to even think about trying to go back to sleep.

i sighed before throwing my covers off my body and turning as if i was getting out of bed.

"tell her i'll be there in a minute." i told her with a smile.

is that all you've got?

she nodded before leaving my room to allow me to get myself ready for the day.

for some reason, although i've been asleep for a long time, it really wasn't refreshing.

so, instead of taking forever to get ready, it didn't take much time at all. i just threw on some clean clothes to make myself look put together.

put together?
you don't even know what that is.

i walked out of my room, past the bunks where most of my team were and into the "front room" area which is where i assumed nicole would be.

why are you doing this?

and there she was, sat at the table looking all formal which only made me panic more.

sure i was pretending that the anxious feeling had left my body but in reality, it was just growing.

nicole gave me a smile as i went to sit opposite her, which just made me feel even worse.

because she's about to give you bad news.

"i just wanted to check that you don't have any questions before i help you put this on." she told me.

i just shrugged, i didn't actually have anything to ask because this isn't actually scary.

it should be.

"you know it's okay to not want to do this but it's necessary." she told me.

i looked at her confused, i never said that i didn't want it, i mean i don't but i never said it.