jellybean • billie eilish

fifteen

the next time that i opened my eyes, i was now in my bed, curled up in the corner with my phone on the side next to me.

i don't remember what happened after i fainted? if i even did that? but i was in the green room so i how did i get here?

magic.

i turned over before picking up my phone off the side, i opened it to see a fair few messages from different members of my team as well as kiera which intimidated me a little.

although i barely woken up, i decided to call kiera and find out what had actually happened. that and i actually wanted to talk to her after my show and this seems like the best time to do it.

"are you okay?" she asked as soon as she picked up.

i nodded.

"i have no idea what happened but i'm fine." i told her honestly.

fine? really?

she sighed before giving me a weird look.

"do you know why you fainted?" she asked.

i shook my head, i didn't even know if i had actually fainted or not, let alone why it happened.

you're so weird.

"nicole said it was something about your blood sugar again." she told me.

i rolled my eyes, nicole has had this idea that i have hypoglycemia or whatever because my blood sugar is like always low and i always feel shit.

but personally, i don't think that i do but she's the nurse and well, i'm sure she'll bring it up again if she thinks it's an issue.

"i mean i feel fine." i said to myself.

it wasn't a total lie, i did feel fine but that wasn't out of the ordinary.

"you always 'feel fine'." kiera remarked.

even she's getting bored of you.

i mean she's not wrong, i do always say feel fine when in reality i'm really not at all.

"oh what was i going to tell you?" i asked.

i was mainly talking to myself but i knew that she would probably come back with some sort of snarky remark.

"i don't know, what were you going to tell me?" she asked.

i glared at her before trying to dig the thought out of the back of my brain.

"oh! basically i think i messaged someone when i was like not with it and like i can't unsend it because they've seen it and answered me." i told her.

she looked at me confused, it was obvious that she was trying to decipher what i was saying so i left her to it.

"who did you send what to?" she asked, clearly confused.

i sighed before repeating myself in the most not confusing but cryptic way. 

"i sent something to someone when i was not with it, i have no idea what i said but i'm too scared to open it." i told her.

she looked at me confused yet again, is this girl fully dumb or am i not making sense?

you're probably not making sense.
you never normally do.

"who is it?" she asked clearly becoming intrigued.

i thought stratigically about my answer for a second before actually answering her.

"hang on let me check." i told her.