jellybean • billie eilish

fifty seven

"hey?" nicole asked.

my eyes opened suddenly, her warm fingers were rubbing circles on the back of my freezing cold hands.

though the second that i realised what she was doing, i pulled away from her.

"can i check your hand now?" she questioned.

i shrugged, not sure as to whether i was agreeing because i was happy for her to, or because i was barely with it.

nicole lifted my hand before trying to bend my fingers which made me a wince a little.

she's trying to hurt you.

she then moved onto the knuckle which she felt around, i assume she was checking to see that it wasn't broken.

"how badly does it hurt?" she asked.

i shrugged once again.

you don't have to be so rude.
you're just so stupid.

i wasn't really sure whether it hurt or not because i was so used to being in some kind of pain.

"okay, well i don't think that it's broken but it's definetly badly bruised." she told me.

my head just nodded along with what she was saying, eventhough i really didn't understand.

"can i bandage it?" she proposed.

i nodded, although i really didn't want to add another bandage to the collection on my arm.

she walked out of my room, giving me the split second that i needed to try and figure out a way out of this mess.

there's no way out.

i mean how did this even all start again?

"so, i think it's time for us to start using the colourful bandages because you need some happiness in your life." she told me.

my eyes lit up a little, although it was all just false hope that i was giving her.

"do you want pink, blue or green?" she questioned.

i thought about it for a second, however there wasn't really much of a choice.

"blue please." i told her.

she nodded before unwrapping the blue bandage and walking over towards me.

are you seriously going to let her do this?

"this might hurt a little." she spoke.

i almost laughed at her because she seriously thought that this was going to hurt me.

clearly she has never spent a day in my head.

she began to wrap my hand up but i would be lying if i said that i wasn't happy to see the small pop of colour on my body.

but it's not going to make you happy.

it was certainly much better than the boring original white colour that i was used to.

"when can we take these off?" i questioned, motioning to the bandages on my arm.

she looked to where i was pointing before continuing to wrap my hand up.

she doesn't even want to talk to you.

"this one can come off today, however i would like you to keep this one on till tomorrow at least." she told me.

i moved my hand from the opposing side of my body before pulling at the top of the bandage.

my fingers lifted the top of it and began to unravel the length of it, watching as it pull away my skin.