nothing more than this | tetsurou kuroo ♡

the reason why kenma left

WARNING ⚠️: violence, blood, fighting

[kuroo point of view]

i think i owe you an explanation on why me and kenma keep fighting. i've kept it confusing for a while now.

well, let me tell you.

it all started at the tournament between nohebi and nekoma.

you know, that school of the annoying captain suguru daishou. the one with the stupid green and yellow uniforms.

i think you know enough. anyway, it was the play-offs, one of the biggest games in the high school league right now. so it was a big game too.

it was one of those sought after matches. that day was kind of a blur, stadium packed, all that stuff.

i had tripped someone during the game and got a 2 minute minor penalty, so i was placed in the penalty box.

as i sat there, i just started watching the match. score was 2-2 and the game was barely getting started.

little did i know getting that small penalty was one of the worst mistakes of my life.

normal stuff, both teams attacking and defending as they passed around the puck. as yamamoto got a hold of the puck, he sent it over to kenma.

kenma sped up, unintentionally hitting the captain of nohebi from behind and making him almost fall over.

usually when someone does that in hockey, the person gets a little pissed.

but suguru daishou? you could say he was more than just pissed.

the captain turned around and aggressively grabbed kenma by his jersey, lifting him up. i couldn't make out what he was saying but then he threw kenma to the ground, his helmet off too.

and he just started beating him the fuck up.

blood, sweat dripped from kenma's nose as suguru punched his face again and again, ramming him into the ice.

i bang on the Plexiglas wall to no avail, anything i could do to save him.

no one steps in to stop it. my teammates stand there, shocked out of their minds. i don't blame them though.

meanwhile, the crowd was... cheering?

but what haunted me was when kenma was on the ice cold floor, shaking. i could see it in his eyes, fear as he looks up at his abuser.

"i'm sorry" kenma mutters out, covering his face with his bloodied hands.

they say fights are part of the game, part of the culture.

well sorry, but i think that's fucking bullshit.

the organisers get kenma off the ice and they take him to the side.

suguru daishou only gets a 5 minute penalty. if anything that deserved 10 minutes, or fucking 20 minutes. or maybe even a fucking eternity.

i finish my penalty and suguru takes my spot, and like that the game just continues like normal.

nohebi scores another point because everyone from nekoma is out of it. i try to play, i have the the puck and when i'm about to score i instead swing the puck to someone's direction, the puck banging off the glass suguru is looking out of. he gives me a look.

soon enough, he gets let back on the ice. i see some of the year 1 teammates start to hide behind the 2nd years. i can't help but skate over to him.

i push him by the shoulders. i don't even recognise the words coming out of my mouth but i start picking a fight with him.

kai grabs my shoulders, "kuroo, stop."

i feel like my whole team in grabbing me by the shoulders as i dig my feet into the ice, trying to have a go at the disgusting captain from nohebi.

whispers in my ear console me and try to stop.

"you don't want this."

"don't."

"it's not worth it!"

"captain please stop!"

"enough!"

i look at kenma on the bleachers, paramedics tending to his bloody nose. at this point i don't even recognise his face anymore. he looks over at me and shakes his head.

my eyes soften for a second.

the grip of every single of my team loosens as i stop struggling. i meet eyes with suguru but i just cannot.

the whistle blows, this game has gone too far.

the match was called off by coach nekomata.

oh yeah, me and kenma never told y/n about any of this. we didn't want to spare her gruesome details about how one of her childhood friends got beaten to a pulp. i don't know, it was too messy, we didn't want her getting hurt too.

when she saw kenma with a few bandages of his cheek, nose, face, of course she was concerned and asked what happened.

we lied, said a freak accident happened during training. which i guess, is true, to a certain extent.

i don't even know.

i was just trying to think logically but i was kind of out of it seeing one of my dearest friends get absolutely obliterated right in front of my eyes.

it's traumatising. 

and i can't imagine how much more traumatising it was for kenma.

but as the time went on, he started hanging out with us less and less. he's been streaming more and staying inside his house.

he says he wants absolutely nothing to do with hockey anymore. but i see the way he looks when he sees us practicing.

he's recovered now, but no matter what i say he refuses to come back.

out of fear.

which i understand. but it hurts to see the boy i grew up with playing hockey stop cause of one horrible human being. how one person can ruin everything for you.

i guess that's also why i've been doing so shit in hockey lately. usually it's kenma who passes to me to score. but i don't really have anyone passing it to me anymore.

i know, it's selfish. but i want kenma back, and no matter how much he tries to act i can read between those lines.

i just don't really know what to do anymore.