Loved The Right Way (My Husbands Best Friend)

Chapter Thirty-Six

When I returned home, it wasn't exactly what I planned. Lamar was sitting by my door with some flowers in his hands.

"I hope you don't think that those flowers are going to fix anything?" I said as I rolled my eyes.

"No, I don't, but I thought that it could be a start."

"Start? That is the problem now, I have let this same shit start repeatedly, and I think it is time to stop putting fuel on this fire. This is something that cannot be fixed.

"It can be fixed all we have to do is try."

Then he gave me this look. It was a look of innocence and a look of deceit in one. I just knew that it was hopeless. I couldn't go back to that. My life was not going to be the fairy tale that I wished it would be with Lamar, Little Lamar, and me. Too many things had happened, and there were other people in this now. It was time that I faced that. He was actually very good at getting what he wanted. I put the key in my door and turned to him.

"I have never in my life thought that I could do this."

"Do what?" he asked with a smile on his face.

"Let you go." I said as I opened my front door. I looked up and said. "Goodbye, Lamar."

As I tried to push the door shut, he pushed it open. "Goodbye, Goodbye to what?" he asked.

"Goodbye to us, our relationship. Or whatever this thing between us is." I said in an exhausted tone.

"Adriana, listen, I'm sorry about what I did. It was the only way that I knew to keep you."

"You know the only way I knew that I could keep you...was to keep playing this game with you. Now it's not all about that. I can kind of understand what you did even though you didn't think about how it would hurt me. What I don't understand is how you can have someone pregnant and not even think to mention it to me. Maybe you knew that that was the last straw."

"What?" he said in a surprised voice.

"Yes, I know! I also know that she is in the hospital in fear of losing her baby. And yet you are here. What does that really say about you?"

"That I love you. And I want you back."

"No, that says you don't have your priorities in order. The only thing that you should be thinking of right now is your baby." As much as that pained me to say, it was the truth. I never thought of Lamar or me having children with other people.

"I just came from the hospital. I do have my baby in mind. I also have you in mind."

"This child is going to be our son's sibling. You need to be there now." I couldn't believe what I was saying. I was actually telling him to go and be with another woman. I really don't think that I was doing it for her. I think that I was doing it for her child.

"Who told you that she was pregnant? It was Terrence wasn't it? He still thinks he has a chance with you. I can't believe him."

"Actually, it wasn't. It really doesn't matter who told me."

"Can we go in and talk?"

"No." I said with a stern voice. "I'm exhausted, my mind is on over drive and I just need time to myself. I'm all talked out."

"I'm sorry that I did this to you. I know that you have heard this more than enough. I know it wasn't easy for you to hear about the baby. I know that I should have told you, but I thought that you wouldn't give me another chance." he said as he ran his hand over his head and the back of his neck in frustration.

"You are absolutely correct. I wouldn't have. Now, when I finally open my heart to someone else you can't handle it. Now...thanks to you, he wants nothing to do with me. So, I guess you win."

"Please don't say it like that. If I could change a whole lot of what I did, I would."

"Yeah, but you can't so lets just leave it at that. Have you talked to Little L?"

"Yes, I have. He's having a lot of fun. I'm supposed to go see him this weekend and do some fishing and stuff with him and my dad."

"That would be nice. He would like that. When are you going to let him know about the baby?" I asked as tears formed.

"I don't know. I'm not sure on how he will react. I guess I will tell him when I know that she is out of the woods."

At this point, I just wanted to jump on him and claw his eyes out, but I didn't. I just tried to keep him and Crystal out of my mind and think about the baby. Even that didn't work after a while. I just had to get him out of there.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm tired. I think that I am going to lay down for a while. Let me know how your weekend went with Little L and your dad." Crazy. It was like I was a zombie. My mouth was moving, and I showed no emotion at all.

"I will."

When he left, I fell into a deeper hole. I went into my room and started dialing. I called my sister, but she didn't answer. Then I called, Anthony, I know he asked me not to call him, but I really needed to talk to someone. I got his answering machine.

"Anthony, it's me. I know you asked for me not to call you, but I need to talk to someone.

I skipped the ice cream, brownie, and television and went straight to the drink. I lay in my bed for the rest of the day, crying and sleeping.