A SMILE IN THE MIND || VK

17

Jeongguk took heavy strides as he walked to Namjoon's office. His palms were sweating in anxiety. It's sporadic to find him this vulnerable. He kept fisting his hands, trying to calm himself down. What he was going to talk to Namjoon about was gonna keep his job at risk. He hopes everything goes smoothly though Namjoon isn't the person he should be scared about. 

His hand hesitantly knocked on the door. He quickly shut his eyes, trying to calm himself down for one last time before he entered the room. "Okay you can do this" He cheered himself with a nod and walked inside the room when he heard a faint 'come in'

Namjoon was busy on his laptop until he realized Jeongguk's presence before him. "Hey, Jeongguk what brings you here?" Namjoon chimed with a smile. That smile can help anyone to feel at ease and it did help Jeongguk. "Good morning, Hyung!" He greeted and bowed a little. 

"Good morning, Gguk. Take a seat" Jeongguk shook his head and motioned his hands in denial. "It's okay, hyung" He smiled a little. "Have it, Gguk. I insist"Jeongguk complied took the seat. He didn't want to look disrespectful. 

"Is there something you want to talk about?" Namjoon asked as he laced his fingers together, averting his complete attention from the laptop. Jeongguk looked down at the table and placed both his hands on the table. He lapped his tongue on his lips, licking them before gulping a little. Anyone could say that he was anxious, and so did Namjoon. He could clearly say that the younger was fretting about something and he was hesitant about speaking it to him. 

"It's okay, gguk. Take your time." Namjoon said, calmly. Jeongguk mentally appreciated his patience mentally. 

"H-hyung, I want to talk about something really important and I hope you understand and make a decision. I'll obey whatever say and won't deny or persist. But what I'm going to ask can be ridiculous and I'm completely okay with that if you find it that way." Jeongguk eyed the elder for a mere second before looking down again. He let out a deep breath. 

"I am all ears, Gguk. You can speak about anything. We'll think if it's good or bad later" Namjoon assured with a smile. Jeongguk was happy that the elder was not urging him to do things by letting him take his own time. 

"Hyung, I want to be Taehyung's caregiver" 

Silence filled the room. It was creeping Jeongguk. As much as he desired to be Taehyung's caregiver, he is well aware that Namjoon's decision matters a lot. He didn't look up after he confessed what he wanted and just waited for the elder to speak up. He kept tapping his feet on the floor, anxiously, under the table. 

"This is so sudden" Namjoon spoke up. 

Jeongguk shook his head, shutting his eyes close. "No, Hyung. It isn't sudden. I kept feeling this way for a long while but I just couldn't accept it. I kept denying the feeling until I really felt something for Taehyung the other day. I-it Kinda ripped me apart that I hurt someone as precious as him. I d-don't know,  just wanna be there for him, hyung!" Jeongguk ended but didn't look up. He shut his eyes close. Fear eating him up. He looked like a student who mugs up the paragraph to score well. To be on point. 

Namjoon licked his lips and took a deep breath. He merely nodded. "I know-" Jeongguk started to speak up again. He couldn't take the tension in the air. "I know, I am cognizant of how this talk with you will put my job at risk but I feel I'll maybe lose a part of me If I don't come to confess to you. I just wanted to talk to you about this before I talk to taehyung. If that's a no from you, I'll be the only person who'd be heartbroken but I confessed to taehyung already, he'd be dishearted as well. I don't want him to feel sad over anything, Hyung." At this point, Jeongguk's voice wavered a bit in the last. He was continuously tapping his foot on the floor and by now Namjoon was well aware of it.