A SMILE IN THE MIND || VK

15

Jeongguk has completely engrossed his laptop. He was not gonna lie this time, He never really took his job seriously as a babysitter to taehyung. He never hated it but didn't like it either. When he joined this job, he had only two things in mind - 1. Ji-ah, 2. money. 

Mind you, He never tried to be selfish, he never was. It was just the external factors that made him accept the job that is completely opposite to what he does. At the same time, He really respected Namjoon and couldn't deny him. He already owes him a lot. 

Jeongguk grew up to work hard. He was always thought to be a hard worker. He didn't grow up in the best circumstances. His neighborhood had nothing really to talk about. It was straight off the trash. People gambled, Played poker, smoked, drank, and create a nuisance on the streets, disturbing people's peace. It was just a shanty town. 

Jeongguk didn't grow up like an ideal man to someone. Of course, he indulged in bad influences like smoking and gambling. He was hot-blooded as a teenager. Yet again, he gambled but he was fair in what he was doing. That way he used to earn and save a few bucks. He sure did get impulsive and lose his cool but he was calm and reserved as a person. He didn't maintain a circle of friends. He just tagged along. If he wanted to live, he had to do a few things. He roamed with the wrong circle of the crowd. 

As he grew up, he worked random jobs for wages. He slowly distanced himself from the circle of the crowd he never really was interested in. He worked and worked and worked. He worked for jobs like barista, Peon, cashier, etc. Whoever Jeongguk roamed with in the past was trained to fight against something bad they knew they were going to deal with in the future. Jeongguk learned to fight to make a life out of it, and eventually, he worked as a bouncer for many years at pubs. 

Jeongguk never really had a reason to go back home. He was just like a loner. He would work overtime at the pubs to earn extra bucks but that didn't last long until he met someone really precious in his life. At least, that is what he thought. 

Yoongi...

Yoongi was the first person to fall in love but Jeongguk fell harder. Really hard. 

Jeongguk, with his aura, would look like a person who'd break hearts or would look like someone who's basically into the underworld.  

But Jeongguk was a complete diffrent person with Yoongi. If Jeongguk was audacious, Yoongi was more audacious. Yoongi had his own share of trouble to make Jeongguk fall for him but when he was successful, he was the happiest person on this planet. 

Finally, Jeongguk had a reason to go back home every day...

Like in another relationship, they carefully handled the ups and downs. Never were either of them impulsive. They were similarly reserved and quiet. Jeongguk, though, enjoyed how it was different when they were both present. They were cheesy, clingy, joyful and Happy. They never discussed having a public relationship or a private relationship. They just were who they were. That's all that mattered to them. 

Not soon after into the relationship, Jeongguk discovered he was a mpreg male. He was devastated. He didn't want to be whatever he was declared as. He was just disgusted. He grew up to be a man. A strong one. He grew up to fight. Not be something he'd never thought of. He was just not ready to accept the truth. He held the pain in his heart that was harder to hide no matter what.

Yoongi was unable to see Jeongguk's sadness. The famished days and sleepless nights Jeongguk left behind were an absolute tragedy. He couldn't listen to Yoongi or himself. He simply began to drift away. He made a lot of effort to accept it, but he just couldn't.

He couldn't...

Jeongguk thought he couldn't take the anguish any longer because all the negativity just leads to suicidal thoughts. His heart ached even more at the idea of leaving Yoongi behind. He was the reason he was at least able to survive for all those years. The idea of leaving the only person he has ever had for him and the only person he has ever loved simply destroyed him on the inside