I look away from him. The intensity in his eyes, the hurt, the pain I caused him. I was so stupid to trust myself and Joseph.
"I didn't think so." Sawyer calmly states.
"I was scared. I didn't know what to do."
"You could have come to me! But you kept it from me." His voice raises but he quickly collects himself.
"Sounds like you'd do it again. Listen blindly to Joseph."
"If you want me to beg, I'll beg. If you want me to jump through hoops, bring them on. I'll spend the rest of my life proving how much you mean to me." I bite my lower lip to stop myself from crying but I can't, "prove to you that you can trust me again."
"Fucking hell." Sawyer mutters as he runs his fingers through his hair. "This whole time?" He questions, on the verge of tears.
I nod unable to say anything.
"How far long?" He asks and I tell him six months.
"Everything I'm telling you is the truth. I really fucked up. I love you." I confess.
He finally sighs and sits beside me.
"No more lies and secrets. We promised." He says.
I'm really surprised he's being understanding and murder isn't on his mind. More surprised he doesn't hate me.
"I love you." I whisper.
"You hurt me." He says, and his voice breaks into a croak.
I close my eyes and lean into his chest. He pulls me closer to him.
"I know. You can't imagine how awful I feel. All I can say is I'm sorry and I'll try everything in me not to hurt you again." I mutter into his chest, staining his long-sleeve with my tears and snot.
He pulls me in tighter, both of us crying.
He holds me tightly in his arms as I lie on his chest. I slowly drift off into sleep by the steady sound of his heart beat. I feel the slight vibration of his lungs as he hums a tune. His hands are lightly brushing my hair and I feel his lips press against the top of my head. I feel his lips pull away as he lets out a faint sigh, and I know he's deep in thought.
I'm too tired and I drift deeply into sleep.
SAYWERS POV
I pry myself off of Opal. It's almost three in the morning, both of us fell asleep crying. I softly place a blanket over her and head downstairs.
Joseph is in the kitchen, a single dim light illuminating him.
I debate killing him, but I know he doesn't go by my hand.
"Couldn't sleep?" I quietly question. I sit beside him.
"I was waiting for you." He says.
"Joseph this isn't a time to leave things unsaid."
Jospeh solemnly nods.
"We have to face the facts. And the fact is, we're both in love with Opal."
Joseph stares at me in slight disbelief before taking swig of his drink.
He's quiet for a while, his mind racing.
"You know, she's the first girl I ever felt this way about, Sawyer."
CHAPTER 91
Start from the beginning
