Marriage, a Heartstopper Fan-fiction

Chapter 111 Did He Cheat On Me

Charlies perspective
Yesterday I found lip gloss and now concealer and eyeliner. I cant jump to conclusions and blame Nick but its so easy to blame him when it seems kind of obvious, he is cheating on me why else would there be makeup in our car and now I'm finding it in his drawer beside his bed. I feel like screaming and killing him for doing this to me, but then I remember how much he cares for me and how much he does for me and how much I love him and can't imagine myself with anybody else but him and how were engaged were getting married soon for Crist's sake, he wouldn't do this I know how much Nick loves me he would never do that to me he would never throw our whole relationship in the garbage. I need to figure out why he has this makeup because its killing me I keep going back and forth he loves me and it's a misunderstanding or I hate him Hes defiantly cheating on me throwing years of commitment away, I'm spiraling I have been spinning out all morning and all I feel like doing is escaping these feeling I want to hurt myself, I want to stop this stress for just a moment, I want to feel nothing but the pain on my wrist not the pain of potentially losing Nick. Its so tempting especially since Nick is at work and I could probably just hide it from him, I feel my heart racing as I go to my art supplies I know I have a pencil sharpener in there, I search through the bag of supplies and there's no sharpener big surprise Nick took it out and threw it in the bin my hands were shaking and my heart was beating out of my chest I needed it. I go to the washroom and pull a razor from the drawer I sat on the ground of our bathroom and the adrenaline was pumping pulling me towards the craving for the painful sensation and stress relief, I heard our front door open and realize what time it was he said he was coming home for lunch today, shit, I started bailing my eyes out I didn't know whether I should hate him or snuggle into his arms for reassurance, I didn't want to ask him about the makeup because truth be told I didn't want to know the answer I didn't want to know truth just in case he is seeing someone else, I don't think I would be able to handle that, actually I know I wouldn't be able to handle that. "Charlie" Nick said worried as he knelt down to me. I was a mess I could barely breathe with how much I was crying at this point, his eyes went wide when he saw the razor in my left hand, and I saw a tear roll down his cheek he quickly wiped it away as if I didn't see it already fall from his wet eyes. "Charlie what happened" I couldn't stop myself from crying to answer him I saw my whole life change I knew without him my life would be miserable and I would have nobody. I love him so much and I could never love someone else ever. I know I will only ever love him, and I know I'll never be able to get over us if we break up. "Char you need to tell me what happened" he said as he went to hold my face in his hands, but I pulled away. He looked as if he saw a ghost, I know it was because I pulled away, I've never pulled away from Nick "What's going on" he asks, and I take a deep breath to calm myself down "I'm having a bad day a really bad day" I say still slightly crying the tears just won't stop nothing will make them stop. "Can I see" he said as he picked up my arm placing it in his hand to look at my wrists, he looks at both before hugging me tight "Charlie you had me so worried, I'm so proud of you" I wasn't proud of myself I would've done it if he didn't come home when he did. I let my head fall onto his shoulder but all I could think about was the fucking makeup, why was there makeup in our home in HIS drawer. I open my mouth to ask him about it, but the words don't come out and I'm too scared to know the truth. I let him kiss me and tell me how much he adored me and how proud he was of me over and over and over but all I thought was how this could be our last romantic moment together, how there's a chance I would never be able to hug him again. "shhh it's alright baby I've got you everything's going to work out, I love you so much" that's the last thing I heard nick say before I fell asleep on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair.

Nicks perspective
I came home to Charlie just sobbing I was prepared for the worst when I saw him like that especially because he had the razor in his hand, I'm so relieved that he didn't relapse I felt like I was punched in the gut almost as the wind was taken out of my lungs and I couldn't breathe I saw he didn't and hugged him so tight wanting to make him feel better, I wanted to shield him from the world for a few minutes like it was just us. I have no idea why he was so upset something must have set him off but I'm not sure what, he said he had a bad day and well he has those they aren't usually like this, I know something set him off I'm just going to have to be patient and wait for him to open up to me even if it hurts. Hes been acting off lately kind of distant I can't help but wonder if that has anything to do with today.

Authors Note
Oh how i've loved writing the short story but nothing will ever compare to this story this story is like a child to me, it's so precious and brings me so much joy and I hope it does the same for you as the readers :)) Supporting me means EVERYTHING TO ME VOTING AND COMMENTING MAKES MY DAY <333 I LOVE YOU ALL SM THANKS FOR MAKING THIS STORY MY HAPPY PLACE ❤️❤️❤️