WWII (Book 2)

13 ~

We drove to the hospital but I didn't stop to pick up Mia and Dan. I didn't want them to get worried neither to know that their father had just tried to take his own life. They were too young for this. The ride was quite painful and full of tension. I was sitting at the back of the car and Chrissy was next to Chris. No one talked and I was scared that Chrissy might do something, seeing how angry and hurt she was. I'm so sorry, Chrissy. For everything. If I wasn't there, he would never have kissed someone else.

We were finally at the hospital and I immediately asked where he was. A doctor told me that they were doing everything they could to keep him alive, but that they wasn't sure if he would survive considering he had lost a lot of blood. They were trying their best to save him.

I thanked the doctor and sat on a chair not far from where he was hospitalized. I rested my head in my hands and began crying for the hundredth time in a day. I couldn't stop blaming myself for all of the events. And I couldn't stand loosing Daniel again. This time, I would never forgive myself for being such an imbecile and disloyal fiancée. I would never be able to live with it, being the reason of his death. I would certainly lose my mind and have the intention to join him wherever he'd go. Could anything get worse than this ?

I wondered why life had been this hard on me in the past few years. What I had done to deserve this, all the horrible things that were happening in my life. And when I thought that everything was finally going to settle and calm down, they turned out to the most awful thing I had gone through.

I couldn't let him go. He didn't have the right to leave me alone again.

I looked at my right where everyone was. Chris, Chrissy, Kyle, Janna, Will, his parents... Chrissy walked towards me but I made her sign to leave me alone for a bit. I removed my hearing aid to stay as peaceful as I could just to think and drown in my mind. And I drowned for hours, debating with my own self. Cursing me, remembering all the good and bad times I spent with him. How we were supposed to get married in a couple of weeks and how I ruined the beauty of his life. Someone placed his hand on my shoulder and I looked at him. It was a doctor. I quickly stood up and put my hearing aid on. "Mrs Smith?" he asked and I nodded.

"We.. we succeeded on keeping him alive. Fact is : We don't know when he will wake up. It could be in two hours, two days, two months. We cannot be sure. For now, only one person is allowed to see him. And I suppose he would like you to be this person."

I smiled sadly and he opened Daniel's room door to me, allowing me to walk in. Daniel was pale. Very pale and he was laying in a simple bed, covered by white and blue sheets. Many machines were surrounding him and some wires were implanted in his arms that were probably sending blood to him, I wasn't really sure of anything, causing me to look at them. His arms were wrapped in long bandages, covering his cuts. "Look what I did to you..." I whispered, knowing only I could hear myself. I sat in the armchair next to his bed and contemplated him. He was breathing slowly, not making any sound. He seemed so peaceful but very sick. The only noise I could hear was the one of the machines and as the minutes passed, I got used to them and slowly drifted into a dreamless sleep, exhausted.