First light comprises the title, cover and blurb. It's what readers see first. And it should come as no surprise when I say yours should entice people, make them need to read your story. Let's look at the job you did.
» Title :: 3 /5
Your title does a good job of representing the story well. It's essentially just your main character's name, and some great books take this approach. So I commend you on that.
» Cover :: 7/10
When I first looked at your cover I thought it was bland. I mean it only consists of three different colours minus the sticker on it. It didn't stick out to me.
However when I took a closer look I could see the silhouette appearing in the letter 'n'. I thought that was quite perfect, you know, relating to the plot and all.
I don't have that much else to say on your cover. One thing though I would try to make it stick out more, maybe have more things that hide in plain sight or have the Timber Man be more prominent? That's just a suggestion.
» Blurb :: 2.5/5
Despite its length I still enjoyed the blurb. Although like your story I think it could have used more information.
To get people to want to read your story I would suggest telling us a little bit more about Tim. You could also mention his little plant friend.
If you do take this criticism I advise you not to go overboard with information though. Your blurb should be great if it just had a bit more information. Just enough to draw readers in.
Dawn :: 6/10
This is probably my favourite part of your book. We immediately get to know the main character and most importantly his motivation. He wants to get free and I feel like that is a great way to start a story.
However I do suggest you slow down everything. We barely get to sit with the character before we are thrusted into his world of madness. I'm guessing he spent quite a lot of time in that place/prison. I'd like to get to know more about his life there before he escapes. This would help your pacing issue.
So the basics take away from this is don't rush your opening or else it might lead to confusion. Other than that I enjoyed your first chapter. It was written great and also it seemed promising. Just needs a little revision and edits.
Plot and Idea :: 15/20
I enjoyed your plot a lot. It is a trope that I hadn't seen in a long time so at least to my eyes it seemed fresh and I applaud you on that. There are however some things I want to point out.
I understand he was escaping this prison but we don't really get to know the rules of your world before the chaos ensues. I want to know more about where they kept Timber Man. It really just felt like I was left in the dark.
Maybe you have yet to explain everything. There's only about seven chapters out. Your story can go anywhere from what I have read.
Pacing, as I have mentioned before, is mainly what I took issue with. One moment the main character is running away from his captures, then the next moment he's created a cactus friend and is calmly chatting to her. We don't get to learn about what he can do before he starts creating sentient beings and I really think that should have been information that should have been included before.
Lastly, some plot I have to say was missing. I felt like things were happening out of nowhere without any warning so maybe add some more plot points in between before major things start to happen.
But overall your plot is eccentric and I enjoyed it a lot. It needs a little reshaping and structure and I'm sure it will be even greater with it.
Characters and Emotions :: 6/15
Although your characters are quite outlandish I loved reading about them. They are definitely not your typical protagonist but that's the charm. Well all apart from Joselin who seemed to be the only one who has sense.
I haven't been able to spend much with your characters since your book is still short but I liked reading about them nonetheless. Although in the future I do hope you give them a purpose as to why they are in this story.
Also I loved the way I gradually learned how to talk.
That's all I have to say about your characters. I hope they continue to grow and develop. I hope you do keep in mind that they can't remain static throughout the entire story.
Writing Style :: 12/15
Your writing style, especially during the first two chapters, were excellent. You opted to use adjectives and adverbs that weren't cliché yet they still made sense within the story.
As I mentioned in the plot and Idea section, try to add more to your story. You can do this by describing the surroundings more. Although when you did do that it was great.
Grammar :: 19/20
Your grammar was mostly perfect throughout these seven chapters. I hope that stays true for the next ones as well.
Just look out for some syntax errors that you have spread across and just like that you're good to go.
TOTAL :: 70.5/100
Reviewer's Note :: What stood out to me mostly about your book was the plot. I hope you continue to be innovative and also take my suggestions into your book. Hope this helped!
![𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 : ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ [CLOSED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/287210578-64-k299057.jpg)