The title matched the plot of the story perfectly. Just by hearing the name, I could tell the plot had music linked to it along with romance. And it did. The title is one of the elements of attraction for the book and should have a link with the story's plot. Your title was able to do all that.
» Cover :: 4/10
The cover of a book is one of the most important parts. It is another element of attraction for the book itself. I, personally, loved your book cover. It was very aesthetically pleasing for my eyes and the aesthetic also matched both the vibes of the MCs. But there were problems and not quite minor ones.
Firstly, I’ll start with the picture itself. The picture was very pretty and aesthetic but the problem was that it didn’t fit the frame. The top and bottom ends of the picture didn’t fit perfectly and were cut out. Another problem was the subtitles. The font used for it was too small and no matter how much I zoomed in I couldn’t read them.
I suggest using larger fonts. Many readers, including myself, choose books by looking at their covers so they play a vital role.
» Blurb :: 2/5
The quotation speeches used in the blurb are something liked by me. But the blurb too had many mistakes.
The blurb of a story yet again is an element of attraction for the story. It gives little information of what the story holds in itself and gives the readers an idea of what they’re in for. Your blurb was way too small in length. A proper blurb gives enough information about the plot which should be able to make the reader want to read the story itself. It should also have little info about the MCs.
The most important part of a blurb is to not reveal the story’s plot in the blurb itself. If the plot is introduced in the blurb then the readers will have no more fun reading the actual story.
Dawn :: 9/10
After I passed the first couple of chapters, I have to say I was amazed. I liked how you described the diseases both the MCs had, even for the one you made up. I also really liked how you explained that the story will be written in three categories. I really liked that extra bit. I also loved the playlists you made at the end of the Stardust chapter. It was very aesthetically pleasing for my eyes. The only problem I had was that way too many chapters are there before the actual story begins, but then again that might just be me being impatient. But I have to say your creativity is on another level. Very organized and very neat and clean. Keep it up!
Plot and Idea :: 17/20
Your plot was very well written and I really liked the words used throughout the story. One problem is that the plot itself was a bit cliche but the way you used the words and described the situation of the scene — I was totally indulged into reading the story. That’s exactly what your words should be able to do. In one of the earlier chapters, you mentioned that it was your first time writing in third-person POV. I guess that’s why a couple of places seemed awkward while reading. I also really liked how you wrote the quotes at the starting of the chapters. It really got me into the mood for reading. Your vocabulary is good as well but it could enhance a bit more. Enhanced words bring out more life into your story.
Characters and Emotions :: 12/15
The characters were well described with good words which matched the vibe of the scene. But sometimes in a couple of places, your words were just too simple and it didn’t bring out much emotion or feeling from the characters in specific situations. In the dialogues, the words didn’t really seem right and they sounded off and didn’t match the vibe of the situation. This is due to the wrong use of words.
As for emotions, they were portrayed quite well and as the female MC spoke about her heart diseases and that part where she speaks about her father was really well written and I really liked it. Overall problem is that you need to enhance your vocabulary and also make sure to use the right words in the right situation and also in the dialogues.
Writing Style :: 12/15
Nothing much to say in this part but I will try my best.
The way you have arranged the first chapters was very immaculate and as I said before, I was very impressed. Your writing style is pretty good and I could see your writing improving by the last chapters. Try to keep the same writing style throughout the story. The wrong use of words is one of the biggest issues I found. Wrong use of words in a story can be very effective towards the story in a negative way, causing its downfall. I’ve also mentioned before that the vocabulary should also be enhanced.
Grammar :: 19/20
The grammar part of your story didn’t have many errors. A couple of punctuation marks here and there and also in the dialogues were found. The grammar part was good.
TOTAL :: 89/100
Reviewer's Note :: Lastly, I will say that I didn't mean to offend or disrespect you in any way. I am just doing my job and I have to be honest about my opinion. I think the story will turn out to be a great one. Good luck with the future chapters~
![𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 : ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ [CLOSED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/287210578-64-k299057.jpg)