The title corresponds perfectly with the plot of the story and also has a nice ring to it. I haven’t come across a title like this on wattpad either so that is always good.
» Cover :: 8/10
The cover was very well made and it fit the vibed of the story pretty well too. The face claims were well made and the placement of it was on point too. The author name in the book was present there but due to the light fonts the letters completely blended with the background and had no contrast in it. The author’s name is one of the most important elements of a cover as they are the one who gave life to it. The font also messes up the quote at the bottom of the cover and the size of it too. I feel like if the colors of the author name and quote could be changed then this wouldn’t be a problem.
» Blurb :: 2/5
The blurb of a story is one of the main elements of attraction for the book and is very important. I blurb should contain enough information about the MCs and their background and also about the plot. And your blurb didn’t really have any of that. Yes, it had information about the OC but not enough and you gave no information about Jungkook or Jimin. Try adding more information about the characters and also some hints about the plot too. But make sure not to present the whole plot in the blurb itself as that takes the whole purpose of the story. More errors have been found in the grammar part and I'll write more about that later on.
Dawn :: 5/10
The prologue of the story really wasn’t that good. It wasn’t well constructed and was all over the place. Adding more space between the sentences doesn’t mean it's gonna increase the suspense. It makes it boring to read and will make you lose readers. Grammatical mistakes were all over the few lines in your prologue and also throughout the story. Silly spelling mistakes too were found. Paying more attention to what you have written can diminish most of your mistakes.
Plot and Idea :: 16/20
The plot of your story was good and not very cliche. But it wasn’t really original either as I have seen such stories all over wattpad and also in other reading platforms. This can change with addings of plot twists. There was this one chapter in your story where the readers were introduced to two unknown people. This could escalate your plot line greatly and could lead to a great and original plot. Throughout the plot its pace was very slow and stretched out. It felt as if the same things were happening every day with different context. Its like Jungkook’s only job at school was to annoy the OC. This makes the story boring and many readers will skip ahead or just simply leave. A story should go through a steady pace for the characters to develop properly with the plot.
Characters and Emotions :: 10/15
The characters seemed so staged and as if they didn’t have any emotion or feelings in their words. This is because of two reasons. One, the pace of the plot and two, the choice of words used for the dialogues. Enhancing your vocabulary and paying attention to what you have written can solve most of these problems. As the reader is reading the story, they should be able to feel the emotions of the character in a specific scene or part of the story. They should be able to feel the anger, sadness and joy along with the characters. To do that the words used while writing the description, dialogues and sentences spoken by or for the characters. One more thing which was missing was the proper description of the characters. Like we got to know who Jin is but we don’t know his purpose in the story. You have to describe his role in the story or else it would be unclear and leave the readers in uncertainty.
Writing Style :: 9/15
I’m going to be honest, please don’t get offended as I’m really not trying to do that, your writing needs work. You need practice writing more and more and while you do that you have to make sure to be careful and not overlook the simple mistakes. These contain wrong use of words, spelling, grammar and punctuation. Sudden change of tense was also found and that would just make the story complicated and unclear. Fixing these things can help improve your writing so much more. One more thing is your vocabulary. As I have said in the character part, enhancing your vocab could solve a lot of your problems. It would diminish the awkwardness found in the characters’ dialogues and can bring so much more life to your writing.
Grammar :: 13/20
Grammatical errors were present all over your story. Pay attention to what you write and these simple mistakes will be gone. Common mistakes such as punctuation and spelling errors were there. Wrong punctuation in places can completely change the meaning of a sentence and that alone can make the story difficult to understand. Spelling mistakes take out the flow of reading and take away the feeling of the scene. These little mistakes can make the story feel boring and most readers, including myself, tend to stay away from stories which have way too many grammatical errors because they’re just such a pain to read. Fixing these problems will definitely improve your writing.
TOTAL :: 67/100
Reviewer's Note :: Please keep in mind that I'm not trying to offend you or your story in any way or form. I’m just doing my job as a reviewer. Honestly speaking, I feel like you can take this story to a high level. Make the plot interesting by adding plot twists and make sure to edit your chapters before publishing them. Keep a close eye to your frequent mistakes and one day then won't even be there. Good luck for the future chapters <3
![𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 : ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ [CLOSED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/287210578-64-k299057.jpg)