The title is something that denotes what the story will be about and how it is related. Something intriguing, to the point, and at the same time uniqueness should be there. Coming to your title, to be honest, it lacked in many aspects. The only thing your title suggests to the audience is the university name. Nothing more, nothing less. I did not understand the fact how that exactly justifies the overall plot. The plot is about a murder mystery and the reason behind it. Whereas, the title, at the first look, just gives off the vibe of university life and happenings about it. And at the same time, the title does not even carry any uniqueness and such. Thus, I would suggest choosing a title that fulfills and portrays the plot in every aspect.
» Cover :: 4/10
The cover is the center of attraction. And your cover was not so attractive yet not bad as well. Now, you might say that I should not judge the book by its cover. But as a reader, I am bound to judge your book by its cover as it is the first thing a person would see before reading a book.
Your cover was comparatively nice, it portrayed the main theme of the story well, which is a plus point. But I would say your pictures and fonts selection were not that of an ideal one. The picture quality was reduced a lot and in some places, some parts were quite sharpened, and also the font does not match with the overall design. And kindly do not use any random actress' picture unless you are using their names as the main lead or such, it tends to give wrong ideas to the readers. I seriously thought the actress was going to be the main female lead but turns out it was just Y/N. Thus, use any ulzzang or at least use the picture in a way no one knows that it was supposed to be this or that actress. And for the overall design, I would say consult with a graphics designer and they would help you out.
» Blurb :: 2/5
[Before we proceed, I would say that you were supposed to keep things unchanged during the reviewing period, or else it becomes confusing for the reviewers to give a stable review.]
The above-mentioned similar thing happened. I was not able to review the previous blurb thoroughly enough before it was changed. But moving on, according to your previous blurb it was quite short and had grammatical errors. But it was quite hooking. I would say almost the same things for the current one, but it is quite long and again grammar mistakes are present there. Therefore, the only thing is to suggest that you work more on your grammar and try to lessen the length a bit.
Dawn :: 7/10
The beginning of any story is quite a crucial part. It is something that keeps your readers engaged and intrigues them to read the further story. If you can entrap the readers with your initial chapters, then you are already halfway done.
I must say your prologue part was quite a good start off. It was intriguing as in who was one to commit s!!c!de. I was really into the thing. Some good choice of phrases and description allured me as well. However it was quite cramped up. One minute she was losing everything and jumped off and soon she regretted and boom! she is no more. Thus, I would advise you to work on your writing. And of course, your tense and grammatical things. They are quite messed up. More explanation would be under the specific categories.
Plot and Idea :: 13/20
The concept of the storyline was not so new. It was a common one but I indeed liked how you went forward with the concept. It was a common high-school cliché stuff. I liked your way of showing a somewhat k-drama concept of having two male leads and all. But it was kind of predictable to know that no matter what and how much the female lead had a crush over Jungkook, Taehyung was the ultimate one. Also, if you could have done something more different than the common crush-teasing-love story, it would have brought more shine. The murder-mystery idea was portrayed well. Overall a nice work!
Characters and Emotions :: 7/15
The characters and emotions are a vital part of a story. They should be balanced equally in a story or else the story won't turn out good. Speaking of your character, I am impressed how you have the characters' development so nicely. Thus, good work on that.
However, your lack of proper emotions presentation dimmed this section. Yes, there was excitement, thrill and all. But I honestly did not get to feel those. Know about the emotions? Yes, I did. But feel the emotions? No, I quite much did not. Overall, you gotta work hard on characters' emotions. You have your characters sorted out already. Now, just gradually try to implant the required emotions in them through your writing. And after that, you are all set to go.
Writing Style :: 8/15
Now, writing style and tone are what can make a simple plotline turn out something great. It creates a huge impact on the overall story. A writer's identity is their writing style.
I would not say that your writing was not extremely bad or good. It was so-so and quite bland, I feel. Yes, you did describe well certain things but at the same you did not. Some places description was good but transition was not. Whereas in some places more description would have been good but sadly there was not. Apart from that, your tone of the story was not attracting as well: a reason why you could not even succeed in expressing the emotions.
Overall, try to match your tone, and use words and phrases that go well with the mood/theme of the plotline. As said before, your genre is something that can have you reaching the top by proper execution and writing. Fix these things and you will surely do good.
Grammar :: 8/20
Grammar is a key element while writing. Without proper grammar, it's not pleasant to read a book. I will list down the prominent issues I found :
» Tense switch, quite a lot. You start with past but in between switch to present and then again past. Kindly avoid it.
» Lack of punctuations in many places where need.
» Tags (verbal and action) punctuations rules were incorrect as well.
- When you use verbal tags (said, asked, yelled), end the dialogues with comma(,) or needed punctuation (!/?), only if the tags come after the dialogue. [Example : "I am quite a famous photographer," said Niti/Niti said while showing the photographs.]
- And if use action tags (whimpered, smirked, cried) then end with period (.) or needed punctuation (!/?). [Example : "I am quite a famous photographer." Niti smiled while showing the photographs.]
» Sentence forming and structure need more attention. Focus more on word usage, that they are not repetitive and too less or more depending on the situation.
You can use Grammarly to grasp the base of such grammar use and proofreading is needed for your case as well. Follow the process and you would do great.
TOTAL :: 50.5/100
Reviewer's Note :: Don't be disheartened by the scores and review. My intention was not to discourage or demotivate you. You have potential just you have to work more on it. All the best. Thank you.
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