I'm Not Even A Star- [Glittergolf]

Chapter 35 I'm ready

Finally it was after work, although today was better then the last, it was still rough. Now they sat on their couch with Monty, both of them drinking some tea before the smaller spoke up.

Monty: I'm guessing you want to have that conversation?

Sun: Yeah just thinking of how to say it.

C'mon Sun, it's easy just say you want to have sex with them.

Monty: Take your time, love.- they said before sipping on the tea, the taller putting down theirs before taking a deep breath and speaking up.

Sun: So... While you were in rehab I was working on my mental health and I felt something. I mean I felt a lot of things but, it was a feeling ready... I've been kinda off avoiding speaking about it with you since it has some implications and honestly, I wanted to talk about it with my therapist first... Since then I've spoke to her and she helped me clear my mind... I'm sure when I say this, although this is not an invitation to do it now I... I feel ready to have sex with you.

Monty: Are you sure it isn't to early?

Sun: Yeah... Besides I feel safe enough... You and Moon have done it a lot of times by now so between you two it should go smoothly and I can always ask moon how it is and they can ease my anxiety.- the smaller sighed, putting down their teacup, before speaking up.

Monty: They haven't told you yet have they?

Sun: Told me what?...

Sun, we haven't actually had sex.

Sun: YOU TWO HAVEN'T DONE IT?!

Oh and I've never had sex. I wanted you to have this first. Although that's a kind sentiment, the fuck Moon?!Now I'm more nervous then before! Talk with Monty. Keep talking. It will help.

The younger stopped spacing out, shaking their head back to reality before looking to his partner.

Sun: Well since you're the only of us that has had sex I... I got some questions.- they asked struggling to keep eye contact, the older giving a smile.

Monty: Well, ask anything, I might not have all the answers but I can tell you what I know.

Sun: D-does it hurt? Cuz I've heard that anal can hurt a lot for the bottom.

Monty: If the person you're with knows what they are doing it's a bit uncomfortable and stings at the beginning but after that it shouldn't.

Sun: Will you hurt me?

Monty: Not unless you want me to.

Sun: T-this is less a question and more a request but could you please take it slow with me? With my assault everything was so fast I couldn't process anything and I'm really scared about that.

Monty: Sunny, I've told you a million times, I'm going at your pace. I'll go slow.

Sun: Thanks... Wait this possibility open should I start keeping condoms on me?

Monty: Ideally, yes. I always have condoms with me just of a force of habit. Although if we both get tested and are both clean we can have unprotected sex.

Sun: Does it feel different?

Monty: A little. But trust me, the thing that makes it feel completely different is if you're using lube or spit. Oh it's night and day, specially for the bottom. Which is why you should probably have lube on hand... I'm not saying to bring a bottle of lube everywhere, just keep one at your house, preferably on your nightstand.

Sun: Alright... Anything I should know about lube?

Monty: Since we're going to use latex condoms, since they're the more available and to my knowledge you're not allergic right?

Sun: Nope.

Monty: Then it needs to be water based, oil based will damage the latex.

Sun: Alright...

Monty: Now I got a question for you.

Sun:What is it?

Monty: Will we be lucky tomorrow at the date?

Sun: I'm not sure... It will depend of the date goes and if we're in my house or not... I don't know I feel like I need to be in my house?... Just makes me feel safer about it and way less anxious.

Monty:I totally understand, it's a controlled environment and it's comfort.- they said holding onto their partner's hands.

Sun: Thanks... Thanks for everything. I seriously don't believe I could do anything of this if not for you. You are amazing and I love you very much. Thanks for being so understanding... And thanks for helping me reclaim my body.- they said looking deed onto the other's eyes.

Monty:  It's nothing, this should be the standard... I'm just glad I'm helping you through your trauma with what we do.- they said before kissing the other's forehead- So how's your day been?

Sun: Mine has been fine, who worked most today was Moon... They're a bit cranky, but it is what it is.

Monty: Are you two less dizzy and nauseous?

Sun: It's barely any difference from tomorrow but yeah.- they said leaning against the couch's back by their right- Thinking about it makes me more dizzy... That's the most annoying symptom, the nausea isn't that bad if I don't eat much and the upset stomach is manageable with tea.

Monty: Oh right! Last night's "midnight snack" didn't do much did it?

Sun: Not really... Even so, right now all I can eat is tea and toast with vegan butter... When I get sick of that I change wich tea and go to the jams.... God what I'd kill for my mom's cooking right now...

Monty: Isn't Indian food like really spicy and like you said it could make it worse?

Sun: Well yeah but I mean it more of like comfort foods... Also my mom doesn't just cook Indian food, yeah we eat a lot of it, but she also cooks Thai, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Pakistani and overall asian food.

Monty: I really need to try your mother's cooking.

Sun: You do.

Monty: By the way, tomorrow night is the the date right?

Sun: Yeah.

Monty: Are you sure you still want to go? I know how exhausted you've been.

Sun: Of course I want to go! Besides it's with the girls, if I end up feeling to tired they won't mind us going early home.

Monty: Well you're right about that.- they said getting up- Then let's think about today, what do you want for dinner? And don't say butter on toast with tea, you need something on you.

Yeah, like a dick! MOON! C'MON NOT THE TIME!Listen everytime is dick time. Besides I know another way that he can fill you up. And no it's not with food. Moon, has much I would like to have sex with Monty, not today, not like that.

Sun: Maybe some noodles...- they said has the other got to the kitchen door.

Monty: With what?- they asked has they turned back to the taller.

Sun: Just noddles.

Monty: You sure you want just that?

Sun: Yes.

Monty: Alright then.-he said before going inside the kitchen and making dinner, before eating with the other and leaving the house.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter if so please comment your thoughts and vote.
Much love!!

-MissevilXD