Kim Kardashian: #BreakTheGame (COMPLETE)

Chapter 10: The 3-Hour Party of Nightmares

Sylvia looked from Kim to the man and back like she wasn't sure who she should pay attention to.

"Hey Billy," Kim said. "Excuse me for just a second. Whose party is this? I need everyone to get out of here."

Billy's response was to continue his story, but shout it, as though he needed to talk over Kim. "BUT THEN I REALIZED PEOPLE WOULD BE ABLE TO APPRECIATE MY MUSICAL JOURNEY EVEN MORE IF THE MUSIC DIDN'T HAVE ANY DRUMS AT ALL! WHICH IS LIKE, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE. I NEED TO STOP PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE'S NEEDS IN FRONT OF MY OWN. MY JOURNEY IS ABOUT ME, IT TURNS OUT."

Kim was done. "OMG dude literally no one cares," she said. "Can your musical journey take you very far away from here?"

Sylvia looked like: Oh no she didn't, but then also like: Oh no she shouldn't have.

Billy turned and stared at Kim. "Excuse me, the lady and I are having a conversation and you are being incredibly rude."

"That wasn't a conversation, that was a one-way death march through the emotional wasteland of your soul. Now who's party is this?"

"It's our party," said a voice behind Kim. She turned and saw three more men in plaid shirts. She immediately felt exhausted about learning their names and telling them apart. The voice belonged to a guy with a goatee, so she just focused on that.

"This party is over," Kim said. "You're in my apartment and I want everyone out."

"This is a 3-hour party, babe," Goatee Dude said. "It doesn't just end because you want it to. You gotta ride it out all night if that's what it takes!" The plaid shirt bros all laughed and high-fived.

"By definition a 3-hour party wouldn't take all night," Kim said. "But who cares, I'm not teaching you math. You and your friends are leaving, now."

"We're not leaving anywhere," Goatee Dude said. "We're enjoying conversation with these women and the party is just getting started."

"But this is my apartment!" Kim yelled.

"Who says?"

"Me! All my stuff is still here! That's my bed, that's my couch, that's my giant TV, that's my map painting hanging up by the door! I bought that! It cost like 25 K-Stars!"

"K-Stars!" Goatee Dude laughed. "This chick is crazy, I love her. Listen I get that you're not in the party spirit, but hang out and listen to me talk about my ideas for movies for a few hours, it'll help you relax."

"I will do no such thing," Kim said.

The plaid shirted men all began to crowd around her. She saw a worried look flash across the faces of the women standing behind them.

"You don't want to listen to my ideas?" Goatee Dude said.

"I would stab myself in the ears first," Kim said.

The men found this to be beyond belief or reason and all began yelling at her at once.

This is a very bad party, Kim thought. Beneath the yelling and the music she felt something low and horrible flicker through the room. It was hard to hear exactly but it sounded like a growling noise?

"Does everyone hear that?" Kim asked, looking to the women for confirmation. "That growling noise? Can we turn the music off? I need to hear that."

"Oh you want to hear growling? I got something that'll growl at you," a man said, causing another round of high-fives.

"What does that even mean?" Kim said. "I'm tired and I want to go to sleep, I want you people out of my apartment, and is seriously no one hearing that growling sound? It's everywhere. I heard it in the cave, and then I heard it in the Hamptons, and now it's here too?"