Kim flew to New York, took a car out to The Hamptons, and arrived at So Chic ready to begin the final showdown against Cassio and his Important Gentlemen, an 8-hour zombie battle.
She entered the store, heart still racing from Simon's betrayal. She had her phone at the ready and felt willing and eager to wage a fierce and bloody war against those who had wronged her in their quest to destroy the sanctity of KKHollywood.
Inside the store, she found Kris, softly humming as she folded some shirts. The store was filled with plaid, of course. And there were sad, mopey-looking male mannequins posed all around the store. All in all the store was very chill and tranquil. Kim wasn't sure what she had expected the store to be like, moments before a zombie battle, but this wasn't it.
"Umm, hi?" Kim said.
Kris looked up and smiled. "Kim! You made it! Come in, come in, I'm just getting us organized here."
"You organize for a zombie battle by folding shirts?"
"Only if you want to win," Kris responded.
"Okayyy. And where are the aforementioned zombies who are waging this alleged zombie battle?"
Kris swept her arms dramatically around the room. "The mannequins are the zombies! Cool, right? Every store around the world is filled with plaid, and every bar and restaurant is filled with craft beer. We'll enchant the plaid and the beer, and the men will come running like the idiots they are, and then the zombies will swoop into action on their unsuspecting asses. Khloé and Kourtney are just getting the final ingredient for the spell and we're ready to go."
"Hmm. OK that does sound cool I guess," Kim said, actually slightly impressed, despite herself.
"So I see you destroyed the enchantment Willow had set up against you?" Kris continued. "I'm so proud of my #1 celebrity!!!"
Kim couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, yes. I'm sorry I doubted you about Willow. You were right all along, I guess I just didn't want to see it."
Kris waved the apology away. "A mother just knows these things. Are you feeling pretty good? It's so great to have you back at #1, it seems like things are finally getting back to normal."
"I'm not sure about that. Have you looked outside? Things seem worse than ever. AND there's this weird new thing happening where I'm a source of energy now? the way birds and fire hydrants and surfboards and pets used to be? I was at the So Chic in Downtown LA to see Luther, except it wasn't really Luther anymore, it was like Evil Luther, and he straight up PUT HIS HANDS ON ME and all this energy and emoji power like poured out of my body??? And it transformed him, kind of multiplied his powers literally and figuratively? It was hectic. I barely made it out of there."
"Oh wow," Kris said, frowning into the shirts as she arranged them. "Yikes."
"And I think this was Cassio's plan all along," Kim continued. "Like at first I thought he was preventing me from leveling up, but then he had this elaborate wedding planned to get me to level up, so I think he actually did genuinely want me to be #1, it was just that he wants to use my powers for his evil purposes of taking over the world. But Willow was definitely working against me the whole time and I was just being too dumb to see it."
"Sweetie, you are not dumb, and I don't like hearing you talk about yourself like that." Kris said. "You've been through a lot! I mean let's face it!"
"OK but I just..." Kim felt herself getting emotional. She had something important she needed to say and she wasn't going to let her tears stop her. "I'm sorry that there were times when you needed me to do something and I put it off as long as possible. I was only thinking about myself and my needs. But it turns out the people I thought were my friends here weren't really my friends. Really it was you and Khlo and Kourt all along who really had my back and were on the same page as me. And I shouldn't have doubted it, and it definitely shouldn't have taken me so long to realize it. I mean I really have no one here now, except for you three. And in a way I'm glad. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Oh sweetie. Well, your sisters and I feel the same way."
"Cool. So where are they anyway?"
Kris finished folding the last plaid shirt and placed it gently atop the others. She turned to Kim, blinked, and smiled. "Right behind you."
A shooting pain suddenly surged through Kim's body as she felt herself being assailed by Lock and Chains emojis. They surrounded her, pinning her in place where she stood. She was absolutely stuck, held fast by magic, unable to move at all. Before she even knew what was happening. Khloé and Kourtney appeared at either side of her. Khloé judo chopped the phone out of Kim's hand and it skidded across the floor. Then, with evilly delighted grins on their faces, they each wrapped their hands around one of Kim's arms, gripping her tightly, their fingernails digging into their skin.
Kim tried to scream but the noise was whisked away by the suddenly rush of magic escaping her body. As Khloé and Kourtney squeezed Kim's arms tighter and tighter, the room began filling with lightning bolts and Nail Polish emojis. Each emoji and bit of energy that escaped from her body felt like a knife, stabbing her deep in her soul. Like the magic was being pulled out of her unwillingly, and the pain of it being separated from herself was like pieces of her body being viciously cut off.
As the emoji and energy spilled out and began flooding the room, Kris used her magic to direct the icons to their destinations, pushing them into the stacks of plaid shirts, and into the zombie mannequins. The shirts began to glow and pulsate with their new amplified plaid powers. The mannequins straightened up, flexed their muscles and cracked their necks, an army of the undead, ready to destroy upon command.
Every cell of Kim's body screamed out in torture as the magic continued to flow out of her. And then, just when she was about to pass out from the pain, when she had endured more torture than she ever imagined possible, all at once the flood of emojis and energy--and with it the pain--ceased.
Kim collapsed to the floor, too exhausted and spent to even hold her head up.
Kris cackled delightedly as she swept the last icons up around the room and fed them to the shirts.
"Awww, that's it?" Kourtney asked. "No more energy?"
"What do you think," Khloé responded, "the bitch is just going to squirt emojis out forever? Have you ever even pet a dog? You touch it once and some energy comes out and then that's it for a few hours. We have to give her time to recharge and then we'll get more magic out of her later."
"Whatever, Khloé you think you know everything."
"I know you're an idiot," Khloé replied, drawing back to smack her sister in the face.
"Girls, please!" Kris yelled. "Save it. The men are going to be here any second. Get this one locked up in the dungeon downstairs."
Kourtney & Khloé each grabbed one of Kim's arms and began dragging her towards the back of the store. Kim was too exhausted to even fight it.
"But...why?" Kim said, straining to look at Kris. "We're family. We were working together."
Kris made an Are you kidding me face. "Please. As soon as you turned up on our doorstep I knew you were no family of mine. My daughter was better than you in every way. But it didn't matter. You're the wrong Kim, but you'll do. We weren't working together, you were working for me. I just needed you to become the #1 celebrity so we could use your energy to defeat Cassio. And once that's done we'll sacrifice you and absorb your energy, and then we'll be in charge of this world. And then finally it'll be the way it should be. Kris Jenner Hollywood. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
"I mean maybe our names could be in the title too?" Kourtney offered gently.
"We'll talk about it," Kris snapped. "Now get her out of here."
Khloé and Kourtney continued dragging Kim across the storeroom to the basement steps, and just before Kim passed out she heard the bell over the front door jingle as a group of men entered the store and began loudly enthusing over the array of plaid shirts.
The war had begun.
WOW who can you trust these days, basically no one. Kim is once again sans phone and she's about to be imprisoned in the gross basement of So Chic. What's going to happen next? How will she survive? I literally have no idea but I will try to figure it out ASAP :)
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Kim Kardashian: #BreakTheGame (COMPLETE)Fanfiction
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