Chapter 08: Kim Experiences The Hamptons

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Kim stared at the perfect, smooth skin of her arm. No scar, no mark where she had torn herself open with a crystal blade. Like it had never even happened. Like everything she'd been through before returning here didn't even matter. No trace of her real life.

She was tired, and the rocking motion of the Metro made her want to close her eyes and sleep forever. If she had her phone she would have popped a Hot Beverage emoji to perk up a little. She felt super out of it still.

Kim looked around the Metro and saw a few of the familiar creepy greyed-out bodies huddling at the far end of the car. She had not missed them at all. And sitting directly across from her were Kris, Kourtney, and Khloé. All staring at her suspiciously, like they'd been whispering something about her just before she'd looked up at them. It was very weird seeing them in the game. Kim couldn't remember if Other Kim had even mentioned them her last time here. Now they're suddenly just plunked into the game like they've been right offstage the entire time? It was disconcerting.

Kim straightened up and tried to be alive.

"So, um, where are we going?" Kim asked.

All three of them rolled their eyes in perfect unison.

"The Hamptons, Kim," Kris said, taking out her compact to check her hair and makeup. "As I said before we left. Kourtney is going to open up a new store there. It's been in the works for a while. It's going to be a beacon of hope and light in this terrible, forsaken world."

"OK, that's cool," Kim said. "And why do I have to be there?"

"Oh my god Mom, do you believe this?" Kourtney shrieked. "Nice to have my sister's support."

"You know what Kim?" Kris said, putting away her compact and fixing Kim with a cold glare. "For all the trouble we went through to bring you back is it too much to ask for, I don't know. A little gratitude? A little appreciation?"

"You dragged me all the way back here because Kourtney wants to open a store???"

"No," Khloé said. "We resurrected you because we missed your sparkling personality."

"First of all my personality is like infinity times more sparkly than yours, Khlo," Kim said. "And second of all you didn't resurrect me, I was alive and enjoying a perfectly good life."

"Oh were you," Kris said, skeptically.

"Yes. I was with my husband and daughter and I was planning the release of my new book."

Kris, Kourtney, and Khloé all shared a look for a moment before bursting into peals of laughter.

"OK, wait," Khloé said. "I don't even know where to start. You wrote a book? Like an actual book?"

"And you got married AGAIN?" Kourtney said. "Is this the third or fourth time? I forget."

"And you have a daughter? Really? How is motherhood working out for you?" Kris asked.

"It's difficult," Kim said. "I brought her to a fashion show and she cried the whole time. And being away from her is hard and we don't always get along."

"Yeah I know the feeling," Kris said. "And did you have lots of friends in this blissful afterlife heaven we so cruelly tore you from?"

"Yes," Kim said. "Well, kind of. Not really. Actually everyone hates me and I'm pretty sure there's a widespread conspiracy among celebrities to kill me and discredit my brand. A literal witch-hunt, if you will."

"Well OK," Kris said. "Kim honey. That wasn't heaven. You were in hell. We saved you. You're safe here, with us. None of that was real. Those memories are not real. I don't know how the afterlife works exactly, but you must have somehow been banished to a nightmarish hell dimension when you left here. All that matters is you're here with us now. It wasn't easy but we did it. It's what you do for family. And now you have your life back and we're all together again! Yay! Happy ending!"

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