Chapter 36: Hear No Evil

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Kim ran back into the villa, full speed, the amaranth clutched in her hand. She had an idea for a spell. She just needed one or two more elements, and she knew exactly where to find them. She had seen them in the lab, which was unfortunately deep in the heart of the villa, and who knows how many men stood in the way.

Kim raced around the corner and down the hallway. She paused, hesitating in front of the elevators. Too risky. She burst through the doors to the stairs instead. She jumped down the flight to the first landing, turned and saw a melty-faced version of Jared Padalecki coming up the stairs towards her.

"It is time for your wedding," he said, in a creaky, broken voice. "Cease your emotional shenanigans and come with me."

Without hesitating Kim took two quick steps forward and then belted him right in the chin with a perfect roundhouse kick. His head snapped back and he fell to the floor, unconscious, sliding back down the stairs.

Kim leaned over him and yelled 'GOT SOME EMOTIONAL SHENANGIANS ON YOUR CHIN THERE SON" then hopped over him and continued down the stairs.

She jumped down two more flights of stairs, then hit the exit door at full speed and ran right around the corner, directly into Brandon's arms.

Brandon grabbed her and held on to her, trapping her and holding her still. He began making soothing Shh, shhh sounds. "There there, my love. Calm your wild spirit my bride-to-be."

"Ugh SHUT UP!" Kim yelled, boxing him out to break his grasp. She shoved him away and stepped back, raising her hands and lowering her center of gravity, ready for whatever he might try next.

"Kim, my love," Brandon said. "What are you doing? You're ruining our beautiful wedding day."

"This day SUCKS and I am not marrying you, Brandon. I don't even like you that much. And less and less the more time I spend with you."

Brandon sighed and shook his head ruefully. "Kim, we've been so busy focusing on our careers that we haven't had time to focus on us. Our honeymoon will be all be about re-establishing that connection, you know? Romantic glances, fancy wine, taking pictures together, ordering dessert. It'll be perfect. Just you and me on the beach in Punta Mita."

"Brandon, that sounds terrible. I want my phone. What did you do with it."

Brandon looked confused. "I upgraded you. You have the Fone now. You'll never need anything else."

"Brandon," Kim said, lowering her voice. "I will ask you one more time: where is my phone. It belongs to me and I want it back. It has all my selfies on it."

Brandon made a disgusted face. "Selfies are bad."

Kim screamed and launched herself at Brandon, flipping him over and pinning him to the ground.

"BRANDON I AM GOING TO TEAR YOUR ARM OFF YOUR BODY IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE MY PHONE IS AND IF YOU SAY ANOTHER NEGATIVE WORD ABOUT SELFIES YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE WHERE I INSERT SAID ARM

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"BRANDON I AM GOING TO TEAR YOUR ARM OFF YOUR BODY IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE MY PHONE IS AND IF YOU SAY ANOTHER NEGATIVE WORD ABOUT SELFIES YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE WHERE I INSERT SAID ARM."

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