Chapter 07: From Darkness Into Darkness

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Kim woke up screaming. She had been tumbling over and over in the endless black forever, or maybe just dreaming it? until suddenly she was awake and alive and gasping for air. She was still enclosed in total darkness. Or no: there was light, just a little, coming from somewhere. Her eyes were still adjusting. But she wasn't floating anymore, she was on solid ground? Or not exactly solid. She reached out, hardly trusting her own arms anymore, unconfident in the fact of gravity, and felt around her. She touched... dirt? Sand? She was lying on the GROUND, APPARENTLY?!?


Kim leapt to her feet and then caught herself from tipping over again, still dizzy and disoriented from whatever it was that had pulled her here. A second ago she had been saving Kanye's life with her own blood magick and now she was...nowhere. It was too much, too overwhelming. She wanted to collapse and pass out and not participate in reality anymore. She forced herself. "Stay awake, stay alert, stay awesome," Kim said to herself.

She was cold and the air smelled like wet grass and fire and something else. Flowers? No. Bergamot and jasmine: cheap perfume. Unsure what to do, she instinctively reached for her phone. She came up empty. Now Kim really panicked, a yelp escaping from her lips and echoing in every black direction around her.

So, awesome. No phone. She began to move, slowly sliding her feet and waving her arms out in front of her, until she found a wall, craggy and solid. She was in a cave apparently? Who does a magic spell to transport you into a dark cave? Seems especially cruel. She was probably up against some very dark wizard. The cave and perfumey smell made her think immediately of Taylor Swift and her pixie fairy forest magic.

If they thought banishing Kim Kardashian to a cave was going to stop her they were extremely mistaken about the ferocity of her powers. She would get them. They would pay for this. Kim took a bad step and stumbled on a rock. She heard the horrible sound of a seam tearing. Her knee skinned across something sharp and pain seared up her leg. Eventually they would pay. Not now. First she had to get out of here in one piece.

But fine. If Taylor Swift had done this, it gave Kim something to focus on, something to tie the kite of her anger to. And wherever she was, she needed to not be here. She started walking, shuffling forward slowly and carefully, feeling her way along the wall. The ground was rocky and uneven and almost impossible to navigate in her heels, but no way was she going to tromp around barefoot in who knows what bat guano and homeless troll vomit.

She stepped along, hoping for a sign that she was headed the right way. There was definitely light coming from somewhere up ahead, but it was so dim it was almost pointless. A few times she noticed things getting darker and so she turned around and found different ways to go.

At one point she came to what was clearly a fork in the tunnel, two passages that went off in different directions. She remembered something about staying to the right if you ever find yourself lost in a cave or a maze or maze-like cave, so she started down the right tunnel. A few feet later she heard a low growling noise, a rumble that had been created in the depths of Hell. A pair of evil eyes flashed in the darkness up ahead. Kim was like HELL NOPE and she turned around and took the other path. A few moments later the light brightened, the air smelled fresher, and then she turned a corner and was outside, at last.

She was high up on a hill. Below her was a dry and withered field, and beyond that, a few houses and buildings, a small town of some kind. She began walking, more determined now that she had a destination.

The sky overhead was wide and blank and slate gray. Cloudy day, Kim thought, as she made her way across the field. But then she wasn't so sure. It wasn't patchy and bright in some places, like it normally is on a cloudy day. It was more like a clear blue sky that had suddenly turned ashen. Like someone had simply gotten the color of the sky wrong.

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