No Love Involved (COMPLETED)

The Parents

Zeph.

 

 

"Dad..." Lumingon siya sa akin at saka ngumiti ng pagkalaki-laki. He cocked his head telling me to go near to him na halatang tuwang-tuwa na kusa akong umuwi at hindi nila ako pinatawag o ano man.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at humalik sa pisngi niya pero hindi na ako yumakap pa. Bakas ang pagtataka sa mukha niya pero hindi ito nagsalita. Umikot ako sa coffee table at umupo sa upuan na katapat niya. Napansin kong may dalawang tasa ng kape sa table at isang malaking plato na naglalaman ng pancakes at strawberry syrup.

Inabot ko ang isang tasa na nasa tabi ng tasang nasa harapan niya. "Is this mom's?"

 

Tumango siya. "Yes. Nasa kusina lang siya para ikuha ako ng loaf bread. Matamis itong pancake." Aniya. Hindi ako sumagot. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Pakiramdam ko nga ay sobrang nipis ng hangin at kakapusin ako. Kaya malalalim ang aking paghinga na alam kong napansin niya.

"Are you okay, anak?" Bakas ang pag-aalala sa boses niya. Nagbaba ako ng tingin at nagbuntong-hininga. Ramdam ko ang pagtitig sa akin ni daddy at alam kong hinihintay niya na sumagot ako. Pero hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Should I blame him for causing chaos to my life? Should I shout at him dahil kung hindi dahil sa kanya ay hindi ako masasaktan ngayon?

Namayani parin ang katahimikan ng pinili kong huwag magsalita. Ngunit pagkaraan ng ilang minuto ay dumating si Mommy na tumigil pa ilang hakbang ang layo sa amin. I heard her gasped kaya nag-angat ako ng tingin at nakita kong nakaawang ang bibig nito.

"I hope you won't mind me having here, Mom." I said.

"O-of course no. This is also your house." I smiled bitterly. Kabilang pa pala ako rito? The last time that I came here was not so good. Alam kong ramdam nila 'yon dahil sa una pa lang ay alam na nila ang sitwasyon but they hid it from me. O mas magandang sabihin na hindi nila inisip ang nararamdaman ko kaya nga hinayaan na nila akong bumukod.

Lumapit ito sa amin at umupo sa upuan sa tabi naming ni Daddy. "Ito na 'yung tinapay mo."Inabot ni Mommy yung tinapay kay Daddy. Dad muttered his thanks to her at pagkatapos ay nagsimula ng kumain. Again, for how many minutes, no one dared to talk.

Sa tingin ko ay alam na nila kung bakit ako narito. Sa tingin ko alam na nila na alam ko ang mga nangyari. But they don't have any idea on what I feel, that I felt betrayed, that I've been broken since that day that Miguel and Steph got married, and I am at my worst state that I am now in love with Jayson, Steph's ex, who is still crazily in love with Steph.

Ang sakit. Sobrang sakit. I know that it was also my decision not to fight for him anymore when I found out that they were getting married on that day. But I was just so hurt. I was so hurt that no one dared to tell me what was happening. No one told me that they were already preparing for the wedding. Miguel didn't tell me that he's about to marry my sister before I gave myself to him or even after it. I was just so baffled on the very day of their wedding that I was crazily laughing hoping that it was only a joke.

But no, it was real. Very real.

Can you imagine the pain that crushed every single cell of my body when I learned that it was my boyfriend who was waiting for my sister at the altar? Not to add the fact that I'd just given myself to him the night before that day? Ang alam ko lang sa mga oras na iyon ay binabayo ang puso ko ng sobrang lakas at naging manhid ang buong katawan ko.