Abducted By Styles [IN RE-EDITING]

• T H I R T Y - S E V E N •

There is a terrible achey feeling at the pit of my stomach because it feels as though I'm the reason. He never even said goodbye...

That's how much he must hate me.

I feel bad that I ignored him for so long. I feel bad that my marriage to Liam is still on and I don't have the damn voice to say no.

Harry taught me so much about the world that I never knew of. He made me believe that even in the darkness, a thin stream of light will lead the way to a better life. He made me feel things I never knew were possible...

Without him, I'm impossible.

Liam left the castle three days ago, he'll be back with his family for the stupid royal wedding. My parents seem to be jolly and giddy all at once- its sickening to know they don't care if I'm happy or not. As long as things go their way.

My mind is racing with thoughts of Harry, even though I try so hard to push them away. He's gone and he'll never come back for me. How is he doing? Is he seeing someone else? Is his father still abusing him? Did his father hurt him because he quit the job and let go of all the money he earned? Is Harry happier now? Does he miss me like I miss him?

I just can't help but care.

Maybe I should talk to someone who won't judge me...someone who will listen. I know who.

________________________

H A R R Y

I lie in bed for practically half the day now, empty beer bottles scattered across the ground. My body is slightly hanging off the mattress...I don't give a damn if I fall.

The pain won't be as bad as the one aching and stabbing my heart.

Turning my head face down into my old pillow, I feel the moistening tears I've shed for the past days. Without Caroline, my life is a living hell. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

My phone rings with that fucked up quaking ducks ringtone Caroline set for me. Thinking about her makes me even more upset so I don't answer it. A couples of seconds after the ringing halts, it fades in again. Won't anyone let me loathe in fucking peace? Sighing angrily, I pick it up.

"Hello." I greet bluntly.

"Hey Haz. I just wanted to check on you." Niall says softly.

"What are you, my cliché life coach?"

I hear a muffled chuckle from the other end. That wasn't suppose to be funny. "Well, kind of I guess."

"So what do you want?" I ask straight up.

"Nothin. Have you done anything from when I came over last time?"

"Nada."

"You can't drown yourself in depression forever, ya know."

"I can if I want to."

He sighs."Why don't you just go back and tell Caroline the truth?"

"I can't and you know that. End of story." At this point, I'm ready to cut the line. But Niall speaks.

"But you got to live your life. Okay fine, just pretend like you never met Caroline. How did you spend your day before that?" Niall counsels and I roll my eyes.

Hitting the pubs, getting wasted, getting into fights, painting and sketching random things, ending up in bed with a babe the next day...yup, this is pretty much my life in summary.

Well, there's something I do that makes me feel a whole lot better about myself, and gets me in touch with my soft side even though I don't want to.