Wrong number :/~~Spider-Man

Fluffier than a fish

"Dr Dad gave it to me" Peter mumbled, turning away a bit to grab his notebook that had fallen on the floor, whatever holding it up having lost it's stick not long after Peter left it.

"Dr w— You know what? No. I'm not gonna ask. Trash. Now. I'm fine with it being consumed outside of the tower, or whatever you do with rat dung, but this is sacred ground, Petey Pie, I have standards" Tony sighed.

"It's a granola bar" Peter repeated, notebook in hand, as if it explained everything.

"It's against the law is what it is. I'm not having my kid eat cheap crap under my roof".

Peter took a defiant bite, dropping his notebook on the counter next to Harley.

Harley barely took note of it, just grinning at the interaction.

"Peter.." Tony uttered warningly, the ding of his coffee being ready behind him.

Peter just chewed on it, maintaining violent eye contact.

It was only a few seconds before anything happened, Harley slowly reaching over for the granola bar to grab it from Peter.

Peter nearly yanked it back, before Harley gave his reasoning.

"I don't want you to get in trouble" he half smiled.

They seemed to have a silent conversation, Tony thankful that Harley had at least taken his side for once. Although he might not know what was conveyed, Peter released his grip on the bar.

Harley looked at Tony, his face neutral then.

"Thank you, Harley—".

Harley took a massive bite out of the bar, or—more accurately, shoved the entire remainder of it into his mouth, finishing off the rest of it without blinking or needing another go.

Tony just watched in silent horror, appalled.

"I'm not dealing with this today" he sighed, grabbing his steaming cup and swiveling on his feet to promptly fuck off to 'not-here' land, where he would be much less petrified of what was to come of the future societies.

"Awe, you're not gonna say bye to me when I go back to the blast zone??" Harley shouted as Tony barley left the whisper range, halting him in his tracks, "It might blow up in my face!!".

Peter swiftly let his wide-eyed stress gaze shoot onto Harley, mouth agape as he moved to speak. Tony beat him to it.

"You know what—?"

"Children, let's not fight" a new voice joined the room, Stephen floating in with a particularly fuzzy robe on, informing the room wordlessly he'd just left the shower.

He had pants on of course, for some reason, but Tony still gave him the eyebrow quirk with a smirk he'd weaponized against the kids.

As if on cue, Peter and Harley let out disgusted groans at Tony's purposefully suggestive antics.

"I take it back, fuck off" Harley looked down to his cereal bowl, as if contemplating wether or not Tony's stupid move made him sick enough to hold down food.

"What, why? And watch your tone young man. Besides, you sure we can't set you up in homeschooling with Peter back here? Your dad can come by whenever—"

Whatever goal Tony had been after failed miserably, Harley looking up with excitement rather than what was supposed to be dramatic gagging at the thought of having to see Tony and Stephen flirting shamelessly to get funny reactions.

"You mean I could—"

"No no, you are going to school, I can't kidnap you too—"

"—and I could spend every day with Peter in his room and we could turn our school cameras off and—"