Wrong number :/~~Spider-Man

Dr dad and the dimwits

"But won't that be weird?? I'm not even like.. I don't know when I should even say it! Like for you, you've got like thirty titles anyways. I'm kinda just spinning through them, and you're super chill so it's easy" he explained, his head popping up again, "plus, I haven't even gotten past mr Stark! Wouldn't that be like.. yeah, wouldn't it be weird??"

Stephen just rolled his eyes, snorting at Peter.

"Don't laugh at me this is serious!!"

"You could call that man nothing but 'bitch' for a month straight and he'd hardly treat you out of the norm. Trust me on that. Don't ask why I know,". He raised a brow, hinting at something Peter desperately wanted to laugh at but was too afraid in case he was wrong.

"Yeah but.. you guys are also like.. married or whatever. I just kinda showed up one day, and I think I might've backed him into a corner to take me in with the whole 'superpower' and 'aunty Ramsay Bolton impersonator' and—" he shook his head, cutting himself off. He took a pause before resuming. "I know I'm the outlier here, ok? I just.. I can't tell where the line's drawn for basic niceties and actual care. I feel like you guys care about me, but I don't.. I can't tell. And I don't want to try and pry it out of you. If that makes sense".

Stephen sighed.

"My dear sweet emotional train wreck, you're the farthest thing from an outlier here. I would have to give that title to Harley, who somehow manages to be the most daring ball of sparks despite having no power to back it up. Mostly for you. Can you at least presume he cares about you?" He gave a moment's pause for Peter's response.

"Well yeah, but that's not the same—"

"Isn't it though?" He asked, looking Peter in the eyes, "We've known you longer, Pete. I get your family experiences may not have been exactly.. ideal.." he really did not want to get into that right now, in case of a relapse, "and that trusting in telling you the truth may prove to be a challenge, but I need you to know that you're not out of place here. In fact, I don't see any reason why I can't say I feel like we've only gotten closer since you've arrived. Tony doesn't care what anyone calls him. Have you seen the news? Ever looked on Twitter? He's certainly not gonna go dark on you for something I guarantee he's gonna enjoy".

Peter remained silent for a moment.

"You really think he won't mind?".

"Not in the slightest," Stephen claimed confidently.

Peter drummed his fingers on the counter.

"So should I call you Dr Dad?".

Stephen snorted again, and Peter cracked a small smile.

"If I'm being honest, I think that would be the good separation line" he mentioned, referring back to the original debate.

"Shit you're right"

"Do I need to have Friday turn back on the swearing filter?" He tilted his head.

"Wait Friday has a swearing filter? How does she do that if it's real-time?".

"I forgot you weren't here for that. Moral of the story, you don't want to find out". It was vaguely threatening, but not as much as the elevator door ringing it's witch doctor melody.

Tony stepped in, stealing their attention instantly.

"Where's Harley?" Peter asked quickly, scooting to the edge of the counter.

"Hell" Tony replied, breathing heavily. He looked like he'd just run a mile, "I killed the bastard".

"Don't call him that, he's a kid" Stephen decided to skip over the child murder part, quite gracefully Peter would admit.