Someday Soon (wlw)

s2 e10

after long hours of not sleeping, i finally managed to fall asleep and get some rest. i stayed up thinking about Alyssa and the situation at hand we had yesterday. i was overwhelmed and exhausted with the thought of her. i felt her pain and hurt, i knew she was trying to pull herself away from me but gosh did it hurt.

i wanted her so badly. i wanted to stay away but it was difficult. her presence lit up the entire room. her smile, man don't get me started on that.

after yesterday, i felt inside of me twist and turn. not only at the thought of the situation but at the thought of wanting her. it was killing me. but why did i want her so badly? what was it about her?

she was so soft spoken and heartwarming, which pulled me into her more. but constantly, she told me no. it wasn't gonna work. her job was high priority.

the thought of those words burned the back of my skull and i couldn't help but hurt. the pit of my stomach hurt just hearing that.

it didn't feel like the rest though, her words cut deeper and these feelings were deeper. deeper than i had ever felt.

i didn't know why i wanted her this badly but fuck did it hurt.

i dragged myself off into the campus and down the hall, towards the class. the walk felt long, longer than usual.

"you look like shit," Ava announced as she studied me. "did you get any rest? or try?"

"i tried," i shrug.

"are you okay?" she asked, still studying me. "if you need to leave and rest, i can tell Miss Adams for you."

"no no," i shake my head. "im okay, im just overwhelmed with thoughts."

"okay, we'll Miss Adams isn't here right now, she had to run and talk to the principal about a situation that happened."

i froze in place, getting more overwhelmed by the thought of Alyssa talking to the principal. i mean it couldn't be anything, maybe i was overthinking this-maybe.

"for ...?" i frowned my brows.

she shrugs, "i don't know exactly but it was about the grades and schedules from what i heard. but people talk so i could be wrong."

i gave her a nod as i pulled my attention away from her and down into my books. for some reason as badly as i wanted Alyssa's attention, i didn't want it right now.

i wanted to dislike her, i wanted to dislike her so badly but something about her just pulled me closer.

her smile?

her presence?

her?

her eyes?

the thought of her made my heart flutter, so gently. she was so gentle and fuck did that make me fall.

sadly the bell rung and the pit of my stomach turned with sadness. i wasn't gonna see her for class, shit my heart hurts.

at least id get to go home.

i gathered my things fairly quickly and tagged behind Alyssa.

•••

"Alex," she snatched the whiskey bottle. "it's not your business."

"you're being really stubborn, Rachel," i tried to maintain my cool. my moms sister was stubborn but ive dealt with it all before, but Rachel was more stubborn.

"no im not," she says in disagreement. "why can't i drink? you drink."

she paired her lips against the whiskey bottle and down half of the bottle. i could hear the liquids slide down her esophagus, it honestly made my blood boil.