Someday Soon (wlw)

s1 e19

i groaned loudly as i made my way down the stairs and off into the kitchen. i barley slept last night, Ava however was sound asleep. she snores like a damn pig but it was okay because it was kind of cute.

the house was fairly quiet, which meant my dad was off watching tv or out and about.

i made my way over into our living room area and noticed him on the couch, watching tv. ah, there he go.

"hi dad," i gave him a warm smile along with a wave. "why are you up so early?"

"when do you ever see me sleep in, sweetheart?"

i let out a small laugh, "you're right you're right. what do you have planned for today?"

"nothing much," he shrugs. "did you and Ava have anything planned?"

"yes," i nod. "we were going to go see mom.." well, here goes nothing.

"oh, when?"

"today, ive been trying to go and see her as much as i can, ive seen her three times so far," i let out a soft sigh as i smile. "its been hard but ive pushed through and went. hell, Ava convinced me the first time."

"good, im glad you went and talked to her," he eyes me. "i know its been hard, it's been hard on me and i honestly don't remember the last time i went and talked to her because ive trying to maintain the company but i will."

"dad.."

"yes baby?"

"take it easy on yourself, i know you're in pain just as much as me. i know you have it worse but i want you to know that i am here for you and your problems are not a burden to me," i gave his arm a firm squeeze. "i love you and i am here for you."

"i know i just..i don't know if im completely ready to speak on those things yet. i know you're not ready all too well either."

"im not," i chuckle softly. "but as i told Ava, we do have to speak on them sooner or later. i know its hard but it's better to talk about it than holding it all in."

he nods, "maybe around thanksgiving because it'll fulfill the silence we've had over the years."

"thank you," i smile widely as i embrace him. "i love you so much."

"i love you so much more, baby."

"now," i say as i stand. "im gonna go wake up Ava so i can visit mom."

"be safe."

"always."

•••

the cold air brushed against my skin as i sat in front of my moms stone. it wasn't as cold but more so windy and the sun was shining. which meant the snow would be melting soon. i was over the damn cold but only if i had a switch to turn it back.

it was a quiet afternoon and i was honestly filled by it, the quietness only reminded me of how the town became once mom died. the silence was nice but i did miss the noise here and there.

i took a breath as i glanced down at my moms stone, it was beautiful, shiny even.

"Josie," i whispered her name under my breath as my fingers brushed over her name. it was cold but so was my soul. "dad and i talked about you today," i say with a smile. "it was much, we're still very wounded by the topic of you but maybe on thanksgiving, we'll talk more about it."

"he misses you so much..i can read right through him," i chuckle. "he said he'd come see and talk to you soon and i hope he does but i know it's harder for him."

"he's really trying mom but he misses you," a faint tear rolled down my face and immediately i felt Ava's hand rubbing circles around my back. god, i love her. "its getting harder and harder to come and see you everyday but little old me is trying."

"on graduation, im gonna come here and talk to you," i say with a smile. "i know you probably wouldn't want me to but i wanna talk to you and tell you how much you've helped me. how many times i almost just gave up but didn't. i know you're watching over me but damn i wish you were here, one last time."

"you got this," Ava whispered softly as she embraced me firmly. "i love you."

"i love you more Ava," i say softly.

i took a deep breath before studying her stone once more, "dad and i have been thinking..separately, how we're gonna spend the holidays. we don't know if we wanna spend it with family or go alone as we've been doing."

"i know you'd want us to go off, live and be happy but mom its been so hard," my voice grew soft and the lump inside of my throat was only rising. "this pain in my chest only gets tighter. every time someone asks and or mentions you."

"it's like the sadness just swallows me while again and i get sucked back into it all," i cleared my throat as my lips formed a small smile. "we're trying and i know you see us. i know you're proud and believe me, its only getting better. i know it has to get worse before it gets better, you were my daily reminder."

"remember when i was like what..four ? and you'd always come into my bedroom and wake me up just to watch cartoons?" i smiled at the thought.

"you and dad were always busy with the company when i was young and dad still is, but you two never gave up giving me memories."

i ran my fingers over her engraved name, "i love you so much, mom."

•••

"fuck off Eli," Ava shouted as she began shuffling the cards. "you keep complaining like no, you just cannot play. i don't know how many games we're gonna play for me to prove that."

"watch me beat you this game," he states. "how about a bet?"

"what, twenty?" Ava pulls out a twenty dollar bill from her bra. "or more?"

"make it forty!" Eli practically yells as he slams two twenties on the table.

gosh, this was so competitive.

"you two are really going at it over an uno game," i chuckle.

"yep," Ava nods. "how about you get your ass over here and play with us, that way i can beat both yall asses."

i chuckle once more, "i don't like card games nor am i a game kind of person. maybe on the holidays that'll be a slide but maybe."

"you're b-"

"call me boring, ill pull your lungs out of your chest,"
i joke.

"okay okay," she held her hands up in defence with a laugh. "pick a number, Eli."

"eight."

"bet," she says before quickly passing out eight cards to both her and Eli. "now when i whoop your ass this game, don't say shit."

"whatever," he shrugs.

"draw four!" she shouts as she slams the card onto the table. "color is green"

"dammit," he mumbles under his breath as he glanced at his cards. "what did you do, give yourself all green?"

"you watched me shuffle the deck, Eli," she remarks. "don't try to call me no cheater because you cannot play."

"you are like how are you so good ?!"

"how are you so bad?" she chuckle in which he eyes her coldly. "you have forty on you and you're losing."

"skip you," he says. "color is red."

"skip me? you have like eight cards in your hands and you're skipping me? tuh," she chuckles. "fuck you and uno."

his jaw drops as he watches her closely, "un-how?!"

"uno the fuck out," she slams the card onto the table as she grabbed the forty and pulled it into her bra. "good game Eli," she says with a smirks.