Mikan's Little Twin

Chapter 125: Nowhereness

Akako's POV

Darkness.

That's all I could see. There was no glow, nothing that took any shape or form, just pure blackness, surrounding me. I look down at myself, able to see my own hands though there was no light but my body wasn't glowing or anything. My skin and clothes looked as I would if I were standing out in the sun but I wasn't shining brightly or anything.

'Mikan-nee... I was just with Mikan-nee...' I try to speak out loud to call for Onee-Chan but when I do so, nothing escapes my throat. It was as though the silence and darkness ate up my voice before it could make any sound. Speaking of which... the silence was alarming. It was such a.... loud silence. The quietest I've ever heard the world, as though no noise had ever existed. 

I remember falling asleep in Mikan-Nee's arms but I don't remember waking up. I don't remember how I got here but I obviously did somehow. I just... I just want Mikan.. I want her to keep holding me, and stroking my back. I want to feel her heartbeat. But right now... I'm not exactly sure I remember what that felt like. I know it happened, multiple times when we would sleep together but I can't remember what it physically felt like. All I know is that it brought me joy. It made me feel safe when I was with her.

I try to look around at my surroundings once more but I can't tell which way is which. That's what's difficult about this odd place, there's no direction. I don't know if I'm looking up or down, sideways or in front. Though the unknown space was a little worrying, it didn't feel scary. I've never been in a place like this, where it felt so calm and serene, the darkness wasn't scary. I almost wanted to fall asleep here from how nice it felt.

'Is this what Hotaru meant? They said I died... is this death? Is this what it feels and looks like?' I ponder.

I was scared to die. After all, I didn't know what was true. Do we go to heaven? Do we go to hell? Are we born again? I wasn't sure what to expect but it wasn't anything like this.

A loud gruesome scream comes from somewhere. It didn't scare me nor does it seem loud. I'm not even sure I can hear it, it's almost as if I just know that it's happening. And I knew exactly who it was. I look around and search for my sister who I instantly knew was the source of the heart-rendering cry but I can't see her or anything else. I take a few steps forward, hoping that I would be able to find Mikan-nee but She's nowhere to be found. I'm all alone in this place with no one to hold my hand as I try to grow accustomed to it.

I feel it. Or rather, I think I do. In this place, it's hard for me to feel or hear anything. I just know it's happening.

I know that Mikan-Nee is heartbroken. I know that Ruka is crying. I know that everyone else is sad. Why do I know all of this? 'I don't want to know it.. I want to see it. I want to see them."

'Akako...'

That wasn't my own thoughts... That wasn't my voice that called out. This was a foreign word. I can't even describe whatever called my name as a voice. I didn't hear it with my ears but it was a woman's voice. One that seemed rather familiar.

'Akako.'

Now it was a man.

I try looking around more and more, spinning every which way that I could as I desperately searched for them. Suddenly, as though someone flipped a switch, I knew where they were. I turn around and they're standing there, where nothingness filled that air just a few seconds ago. Unlike me, they glow. Two people that I never thought I'd be able to see or speak with again.

'Mama... Papa..!' My eyes begin burning and I instantly run towards them, towards mom and dad who have crouched down for me. The moment their arms wrap around me, all of my emotions bubble to the surface. Endless tears stream down my face in joy at the feeling of being hugged by both of my parents, my parents that I never got to spend time with, who I never got to hug together. Was this what it felt like to a child? When I was sad or in pain, would they have held me this tight and rubbed my back like this?