Wrong number :/~~Spider-Man

Happy new year y'all

Steve had one of the most ready-to-argue expressions possible from the 42 muscles and millions of combinations available to the human face.

"What's it about this time, children" Strange sighed tiredly, Peter sitting down on the couch starring at a wall behind them "the actual child is handling this better than you two, have some dignity".

"It's not my fault, he stole my phone!" Tony complained, shoving it in his pocket.

"Yeah, we'll he's harboring the new spider hero, and I don't want to wake up to another sick prank he convinced some kid to do because it's funny. I feel like if he has access to a kid with spider powers, I'm gonna wake up surrounded by brown recluses one morning in the shape of a penis!" He yelled, recalling the last time it happened with bullet ants.

Peter snorted in the background, covering his mouth to stifle a full laugh.

Stephen groaned loudly, grabbing his husband and and shoving him towards Peter out of the way, putting his hands on his mouth thoughtfully like that Sherlock guy did when he was annoyed and thinking.

"First off, Peter can't summon spiders. Secondly, since you already know who he is, I'm going to have to ask you to not tell anyone. He's only 15 and it's up to him when he's going to tell anyone else—"

"Wait, that's the new spider hero?" Steve exclaimed in a whine, both intrigued and disappointed, "he's already on Tony's side" he groaned, afraid of there now being two people out to get him, one with mysterious spider powers.

"Yes yes, that's the new spider hero. I would assumed you'd've noticed it when he was on the ceiling" Stephen had been up too long to be dealing with such stupidity.

I'm his opinion, it was more annoying dealing with those two bickering than the 48 hour shifts as a trainee he'd endured years prior. At least then he was doing something meaningful to people and productive to his career. Here, he was just babysitting various sized toddlers with the emotional range of a pregnant woman on steroids who wasn't receiving her cravings food. He wasn't even getting paid for it.

"I'm too tired to deal with this" he decided, "just shut up and don't tell anyone, have fun with your boyfriend, it'll be explained later".

"He's not my—" Steve was cut off as the portal opened beneath him, yelling ensuing before the sweet sweet sound of silence filled the room as said portal closed.

"Finally, thank the heavens!" Stephen cried, walking back over to the two "I wish I could do that to every problem, then I might actually get to go to bed with you on time" he stated as he sat down next to his husband.

"If you ever want to go and portal me like that, mr Strange, I think I might have fun even while being slightly offended" Peter raised his hand as he said so, almost secretly hoping it'd happen someday.

"No, kid. Any portals I put you through, you'll be warned beforehand" he explained, not planning on that anytime soon.

"Yeah, that's kind of how spider sense works" he leaned back into the couch, squishing himself between the cushions a bit to feel secure.

"Don't get smart with me, bucko" Stephen grinned, waving his hand in the air.

Peter had half a second to realize what was happening before the soft floor beneath him disappeared into thin air, literally.

What started off as a yelp gradually evolved into a rollercoaster yell as he kept falling, the golden rings passing by over and over again. Both men watched the kid loop through the floor over and over again.

"How long are you going to keep him in there?" Tony asked, witnessing as Peter thrilled himself in the same action that was used for a Loki trap.

"Till he asks me to stop, I'm too tired for smart asses right now" he sighed, giving a small chuckle as Peter's yelling turned into laughter that cut out for a second every time he reached the portal again.