Pearl Rising

Forty Two - Pearl

Fuck, everything.  "What, can't a girl just be nice?" My heartbeat stumbled.

"Bullshit!"

He wasn't buying it.  

Think, think, think.  

Lying wasn't my forte as guilt seeped rampaging my stomach.  Blinking on repeat, the heat rose behind them.  They were about to flood over.  Keeping this hidden was killing me.

Ha, killing me.  How fucking ironic?

A strangled laugh escaped, bordering on manic.

"Fuck!"  Hunter pulled me into his embrace, wrapping me up in his heat.  "Talk to me Pearl, I can help, yeah."

I sucked in a sob; spikes of terror pricked my brain.  In a few hours, I would cease to exist.  Hunter squeezed me tighter. 

Pull yourself together!   I sucked in a breath and stiffened in his arms, pulling back.

Hunter reluctantly let me go as I swiped a stray tear.  "I'm just stressed.  I won't lie and say it's been easy these last few days."  That was close to the truth.  "It's been torture."

He nodded for me to continue, and I knew he wouldn't let this go.  I steadied my voice and asked, "you would do anything for Sage, right?"

His head jerked back. "Fuck, yeah.  You have to ask?"

I shook my head. "No, and that's my point."  I forced myself to stand taller, squaring my shoulders.  "There is something I need to do for Cass.  Don't ask me what because you'll be wasting your breath."

He grumbled as I raised a hand.  "Listen."  I expelled a tormented breath. "By tomorrow, this will all be over.  Trust that I believe I'm doing the right thing, because just like you, I would do anything for my mate."

"Why the fuck can't you tell me?"

The words wanted to bubble out, escape—but what could I say?  "Reassure Sage that I'm okay."  I grabbed his hands in mine.  "Please Hunter, don't make this harder."

"Promise me it's nothing dangerous."

Fuckity-fuck!    

I squeezed his hand.  "Promise."  Swallowing the lie, it scraped the skin doing down, burning. "Now, I have to do some cleaning." I smiled.   "Go back to Sage and tell her I'm okay."

I let go and turned, heading inside Cass's study I leaned against the door squeezing my eyes tightly shut.

I could do this.  Yeah, tell that to my crazily beating heart or the contents of my stomach.

My part was easy, right?  Just hand over my free will and wait to be stabbed.

Fuck, this wasn't helping.

Distraction.  I knew what would help.

Pushing from the door, I walked toward Cass's desk and sat down.  Pulling open a drawer, I found some paper.  I would write my mate and each member of my family a letter. Put into words as best I could what each of them meant to me and hope it was enough so they would understand and forgive my choices.

~ ~

An hour later, and with tired, sore eyes from crying, I'd finished pouring my heart out on paper.  I'd wished I could say these words to their faces and hug them till my last breath.  But it had to be this way.

A voice behind me, gruff and sleep ridden.  It was Seth. I hadn't heard him come in.

"Please tell me you've changed your mind."