Thirty Eight - Sylar

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Swiping the steam from the mirror, worry stiffened my frame as I ran my hand over Ember's forced mate marking

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Swiping the steam from the mirror, worry stiffened my frame as I ran my hand over Ember's forced mate marking.  It had faded to a scar but still vibrated under my touch. I'd spent almost thirty minutes in the shower scrubbing away every place she'd touched.

Chest deflating, exhaustion plagued my body; I'd been shielded from the horror of what had happened by surrendering control to my wolf. But now, my mind crawled over every single touch, every thought.  The feel on her mouth on mine, her taste sweet, yet repulsive.  The sinking of her teeth in my throat had almost been my undoing.

I shuddered, shutting my eyes.  How does a person put something like that behind them? Move on... forget?

Opening my eyes, the memory stared back at me, unforgiving.  Ember's mark was a stark reminder, an everlasting stain of what she'd taken, of what I would have to live with. 

My wolf whimpered, skulking to the back of my mind, alone and unresponsive. 

During our captivity, he'd been conflicted.  He'd wanted to side and protect me but at the same time the pull to his mate had been strong and seductive.  And I'd wanted every fibre of the man that I was to be angry with him, but did I have the right?  To him, she was his one true mate.

And knowing how I felt for Willa, I had to at least try to recognise his pain, his loss and suffer his grief and hopefully help him heal.  We were a part of each other. One didn't exist without the other.

In practice, it was harder.  The anger crashed down in waves.  I'd hated no one my entire life, and I didn't want to carry the bitterness of hate, but damn, it was testing my resolve.

Running my hand across my forehead, tension tied me in knots.  I would need to tell Willa. But how do you start a conversation like that?   Would she believe me?  Was it rape when my body had responded to her touch?

I winced.

Would Willa think I'm tainted? Reject me?

Fear choked me as I scratched at the mark, scraping my fingernails across it, drawing blood.

No.  My wolf whimpered, feeling my pain.

Focus on Willa.  Our future. I gripped the edges of the basin.

Her words flooded my brain.  Willa said she loved me.  Had enough love for the both of us.  And I had to believe she would never turn her back on me... on us.

I shook my head.  No, she wouldn't, never.  Her feelings for me were honest and the strength in her words hid no deceit.

Willa was everything that Ember wasn't.

Pure. Beautiful. Mine.

Turning away from the mirror, I dressed.  It was time to face my fears.

Heading out of the room, my senses picked up Willa's scent with ease. In truth, it heightened my senses having spent so many days as a wolf. And now standing outside her door, I raised my hand, then dropped it, fisting it by my side.  Knock, coward.

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